The Real Assanova (realmademen.com) has long had very interesting things to say about the sexual marketplace. Most of his advice is aimed at men who are a combination of wealthy and good-looking, and a key tenet of his advice to those men is to not over-game and to leverage fitness, fashion and wealth – essentially, if you’ve got the classic attraction markers, use them!
But despite his organized and oft-cited opposition to “game” (I’ve never been able to gather exactly what he means by game and which parts he finds objectionable), he clearly understands, instinctively, some key concepts of interpersonal psychology. In his latest post “Women Want You To Fail,” he describes the dance of fitness testing, of women working to suss out a man’s true level frame and strength.
So why exactly did I sleep with this girl so fast, and why didn’t either of these guys get as much as a kiss out of her in the months that they were trying to get with her?
It was because they were unwilling to fail. As a guy aspiring to attract women, you have to understand that women want you to fail.
Why does he say she wants this?
Because once she rejects him, his true character will be revealed. When a woman rejects a guy’s openly sexual advances, it’s going to reveal one of four things about him:
A) He is going to keep pushing her for what he wants, which will reveal him as needy and desperate. Very unattractive.
B) He is going to cave in, be absolutely devastated, and reveal that his confidence was fake. Very unattractive.
C) He is going to get very upset, and reveal that he constantly fails, shown by his frustration. Very unattractive.
D) He is going to stay calm, relax, and act as if the rejection never happened.
When a woman sees that last reaction from a man after she rejects his sexual advances, assuming that she was initially attracted to him in the first place, if she doesn’t immediately give him what he wants, it will at least cause her to take a closer look at him, under the premise that he just might indeed be the real deal alpha male that she’s been waiting for.
Think about those four responses.
Now engage in some self-knowledge and think about how you’ve reacted to rejection over the years. How many of those moments (and if you haven’t gotten rejected, you haven’t been meeting and pursuing enough women) fit into each of those categories? Add a fifth category for “null reaction, because I didn’t escalate.”
As you talk to more women and get into more sets, you’ll be able to more clearly read your own responses to these tests on the fly. If you are paying attention, it won’t be long before you can start to modulate your responses instead of reacting to the situation. The game will “slow down,” like it does for an experienced quarterback who can predict the entire defense’s moves before the snap.