When a guy tells me he’s having trouble with his game, I want to know one thing.
How many new women have you talked to this week?
I don’t mean numbers you got, kiss-closes, or extended philosophical waxings. I don’t mean how many women are in your vicinity when you go to the farmer’s market or wine tasting. I just want to know how many women you’ve talked to. It could be at the local watering hole, in the grocery line, at the library, leaving a movie theater. What is your tolerance for approaching?
It’s a question that shows a man’s real stones. It takes some courage and initiative to decide to learn game, but it takes another kind of down-to-earth guts to actually put it into practice.
It’s important that the metric is this week. That reflects current, day-to-day performance. If I hear he was approaching like gangbusters two weeks ago but hasn’t really been on the horse lately because he’s working a lot or whatever, he’s allowing his growth plan to slip. Don’t procrastinate by trying to perfect your game first; you can’t develop your game without approaching. Halfway-decent game executed now with a slew of approaches will yield better results than holding back until you think you’ve got it all perfect. Experience shows that you never really think you are ready anyway, so get used to going into situations feeling a bit underprepared (odds are you actually aren’t).
In his book, Mystery advocates an aspiring PUA go out several times a week meeting several women each night, adding up to something like 2,000 (!) approaches in a year. I think that’s a bit much, but on the other hand if that’s what it takes to blunt approach anxiety and build a full conversational toolbox, so be it.
Don’t get me wrong. There’s more to life than chatting up girls. But if a guy really wants to improve his results (seeking an LTR or otherwise), he should put some real effort into it, and there’s no way to avoid the fact that you have to approach women. You are not simply going to emanate a halo that brings girls to your side. If you aren’t talking to new women, all the game in the world isn’t going to do jack shit. It’s like having a factory with no raw materials coming in the door.
So get started.
Suggested Reading: Kane’s The First Secret To Meeting Women