Lessons of the Stooges

I came across “scottmac56” in the comments section of The Private Man‘s blog, and followed his blog to a hilarious entry called “All I really need to know I learned from The Three Stooges.”

  • Friends stick together. Even if they’re a bunch of knuckleheads.
  • Even the biggest bully will back off when confronted by a solid show of coordinated, single-minded bullheadedness.
  • Life will put you in situations you never expected to be in. The only way through it is through it. You may need to be a plumber or a paperhanger or a pie chef.  Fake it till you make it. You can do it. If you can fake it, you can do it.
  • No matter what more enlightened people may have you believe, sometimes the best possible option is a pure, dumb, flat-out show of force. Accompanied by “Grrrrrrr- – Woof! Woof! Woof!”
  • People who put on airs sometimes have a pie in the face coming. Literally is the most fun, but figuratively works too.
  • Don’t lose track of your siblings. They will be your best friends. (Moe and Shemp and Curly were brothers in real life.)
  • When someone asks you, “How many fingers?” always put up The Block.
  • Occasionally you will have to work alongside new people whom you are not used to. Treat them well, teach them what you can, and appreciate what they bring to the team.
  • Sometimes the only thing that will get you moving in life is for someone to stick a beehive down your pants.
  • Always make the biggest person take the bottom bunk.
  • In every group there is always a take-charge guy, an alpha. Slap him back at your own risk.
  • And some people just have a slap coming to them. You can’t protect them.
  • Always try to keep your dignity. Even if you fail, at least you tried.
  • You can tell a kind woman from a mean one by whether she laughs or sneers at your antics.
  • To stop someone in their tracks when they try to take advantage, first call them out. “Oh –  wise guy, huh?!”
  • Never, ever play “Pop Goes The Weasel” at a boxing match.
  • The first time you fall in love you will definitely wander around saying, “Woo-woo-woo-woo-woo!”
  • Sometimes the boss will give you a hit, even if you didn’t do anything. That’s in case you do, and he’s not around.
  • If you can’t see what’s around you, maybe it’s because you’ve got your eyes closed.
  • You may not want to do something until you’re good and ready. But sometimes you have to get ready before you’re ready.
  • When offered an opportunity in life, be willing to say “Soitenly!”
  • If you can’t dance, do the shuffle!

(Programming note: I was going to be ironic by posting a picture of the band The Stooges, but I couldn’t find a photo of Iggy Pop with his shirt on, and this is just not that kind of blog.)


Filed under this is just funny

4 responses to “Lessons of the Stooges

  1. daryl

    lol. love it. thanks for that.

  2. ray

    when confronted with The Block, Moe developed a workaround — his infamous TwoHanded Technique

    as you advocate, he did preface with the Oh Wise Guy Huh? warning

    that Moe was a genius, we may never see his like again, great to see you keeping The Dream alive

  3. i want a shrimp po-boy.

  4. I recently watched a movie about the Stooges, sort of a bio-pic. Curly had a stroke in 1947 and never really recovered. Moe kept things together. A studio head fucked them over royally on TV rights. They had a huge comeback when an entire generation of kids watched them on TV after school. Larry was the last one to die.

    Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck….

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