In a comment left here and at Dalrock, Brendan/Novaseeker announced he would be leaving the manosphere. He had already shuttered his blogs a few weeks ago.
Brendan suggested that he felt unmotivated by the advice and debates of the scene; in particular he mentioned traditionalism, MRA and the debate about marriage as not relevant to his life.
I have come to accept sudden entries and exits as part of the game we play. One of the difficulties of any social-relations movement is that every micro-generation needs to be re-trained by patient, knowledgeable instructors. You can only re-emphasize the same points, and re-argue with the same opponents, so many times before you get tired of it and it becomes a burden. Blogging and the Internet itself can be addictive when you feel you have something to say. My own experience in other online communities taught me how being an active, trusted member can quickly but imperceptibly become an albatross, a character role you feel an obligation to fulfill, an unwilling commitment to carry others through the fog or play their foil.
Pyrotechnic exits are becoming sadly routine. Solomon II’s blog was hacked into on the eve of his never-published final post. I did not have a wide manosphere palate when Talleyrand and Alkibiades hung it up (although their blog name, Seasons of Tumult and Discord, was among the coolest in the scene), but I could detect a sense of loss among the readership. The Man Who Is Thursday was reportedly discovered by a member of his church group. I noticed some changes at Roissy around the start of 2010, but it wasn’t until months later that I discovered the details of his “outing” by a vengeful bloggress (rule: don’t engage haters, especially not ones who truly hate you). Just this week Rivelino’s stream-of-consciousness blog (it could have been described as “macro-twittering”) got discovered by an associate and shut down.
Given these dramatic events, I’m happy Brendan took the opportunity to go out on his own terms. It is something I wish more of us had the humility to do, like a great sports figure hanging it up before he gets old and creaky and cruel to watch.
Brendan has put in a Herculean performance for an unusually long time, and I consider him a first-wave member of the Manosphere. His is a name I always looked for in comment threads and it was a big boost to my blogger ego when he started commenting here.
Many good friends of mine in college and graduate school I never talk to anymore. If I do they take weeks to return email or phone calls (and I sometimes do the same). They’re doing new things – some got married, some moved OCONUS, others just lost touch. I used to get torn up at every life change, a nervous wreck thinking of all the people I’d miss. But now I have no hard feelings about this process; it’s just the way it is, there are very few people in life who will be your friends forever. It’s the price of living an “alpha life” – if you’re constantly pushing for new and novel things, you have no choice but to clean out the old stuff on a regular basis, and there’s no more calming (if bittersweet) feeling than conclusively closing the door on an old phase of life.
All the best, Brendan.