I was pointed to this video made by YouTube user “RIP Videos”:
I wouldn’t try all the lines that he gives, but his overall point and frame are well-taken – you need to understand that the emotional content of your words matters a lot more to women you are talking to than it does to you or to guys who might be talking to. “Words that caress their feelings” might be the best distillation of effective conversational game I’ve ever heard.
There is one longtime blue-pill generalization that is largely true: men are generally speaking in a more factually-oriented style, women are generally speaking in a more emotionally- and personally-oriented style. (This is most true in social and romantic situations; I work with plenty of women who are not playing funky verbal emotion games when they are on the job.)
The man who ignores this distinction does so at his own peril.
I don’t see any need to sugarcoat it: most guys are not very good at communicating with women in a way the latter will understand, it’s a big reason their game sucks, and just like other aspects of the game, communicating better with women can be learned. However, lots of guys make the mistake of “softening” their communicating by removing its core content and becoming supplicating. Think of it more like polishing your words – the core of the mineral is still there, it just looks a little nicer.
One of the more uncomfortable truths of game, especially in the early stages, and especially to guys raised in the 90′s when equalism dogma was big, is accepting that the male and female communication styles are different. If you are new to the game, or your game sucks, consider whether you are being too bold, rough and direct in your verbal communication. If you can’t carefully calibrate the emotional level and content of your discussion, your game is going to be pretty limited, only compensated by very high value in your looks or status. That’s what is behind some of the classic PUA comfort techniques like cold reading, open-ended questions and telling stories to build rapport – inserting some emotional content to the discussion, bonding you together and differentiating yourself from the chumps who spend 45 minutes talking about their job. Emotional content does not mean talking about your feelings, it means expressing passion and intensity and like a good subwoofer, getting her to feel it, not hear it.
There’s a certain thrill that comes with standing your ground in a dialectical debate with an entitled princess or an overt feminist and watching their heads explode as they’ve never really been challenged before on some article of faith they are trying to peddle to polite society. However, it usually comes at the cost of a major vitriolic dustup that wins you no points in the end. Instead of shouting down or backing down, consider the third way of communicating your point just as strongly but while papering over their emotional impact. Indeed, poets priests and politicians are renowned experts on delivering both uncomfortable truths or vacuous banalities, while consistently leaving their audiences with positive emotional receipt.