Educated Women’s Contempt For Men

The Atlantic, which appears to be doubling down monthly on its “End of Men” memes, has struck again with professional victim-whiner Sandra Tsing Loh’s latest piece “The Weaker Sex” (in this case, “weaker” referring to men who can’t keep above their wives’ hypergamous expectations).

She cites Liza Mundy, author of a book on female-breadwinner relationships.

“Instead of being a castrating, unmarriageable harpy, today’s reproductively and economically free female, Mundy asserts, is the trigger for a challenging but exciting new social order.”

Loh then spends the rest of the article contradicting Mundy by relaying anecdotes from her high-powered but entitled girlfriends about the frustrations of their kitchen-bitch househusbands.

I’m not going to dwell on explicating the details of the article because frankly, we’ve read it all before. But I will draw attention to two details.

First, the drawing accompanying the article is of a miniature man sitting atop a woman’s forlorn face, lowering a bunch of grapes into his mouth. Supine grape-eating is a longtime artistic shorthand for the idle classes. In this case, it’s hypergamy illustrated – to Loh and the other women in the story, a man who isn’t stomping his way up the career ladder in excess of her own workplace achievement is not just a smaller man, but a weaker one. (To sharpen the obvious double standard, check out the hysterics at any blog where the question is even asked if housewives are pulling their weight.) Gender feminists have long contended that male achievement and drive are actually signals of insecurity, that men have “fragile egos” that are damaged when they don’t achieve to their expectations (cue up the “compensation for a small penis” meme when you’re at it). In that light, it’s interesting to note how fragile women’s egos get when their men don’t achieve to their expectations.

Second, Loh reveals women’s compartmentalized desires, and to her (vague) credit, she admits that they are fantastic and wildly contradictory. STL insists that the high-powered women in her life secretly yearn for an untenable combination of “Four Husbands of the Apocalypse” (a seemingly-cute but grossly misused turn of phrase):

Mr. X: the financial partner. Not necessarily the financial provider—he’s more that calm, intelligent partner with whom to navigate the tedious finan­cial technicalities of life—the 401(k)s, the 529s, the various faintly conflicting health-insurance plans. If you are a mother in our economic class (we all married sensitive, intelligent, professional men, rather than barflies), this man will typically be the father of your children. You will feel that you chose correctly, never mind that you are no longer married (hence the name: “Mr. Ex”).

Mr. Y: the feelings guy. He is all about the glass of chardonnay proffered with soulful active listening at the end of the day. “Pampering”—a vague enough word—may ensue, but the DPMs decide this needn’t include “massage” (as some “date night” guidelines arduously insist). We agree that any sensible human would prefer a massage from a professional. When your “mate” rubs your back, it’s impossible to relax while you anticipate what reciprocation will be required—five minutes of sex or, worse, a 20-­minute massage back. This is a complex role; while it falls to Mr. Y to provide amorous rela­tions if needed, for some—most?—women, it would be enough, or even preferred, for Mr. Y to function as the gentlemanly squire (Maurice Tempelsman holding umbrella aloft as Jackie O steps out of Doubleday into the rain). Or he could even be (or appear to be, although he says he’s not) gay. (David Gest, to the staff: “Liza will be home at 7 o’clock. Ready the Vosges chocolates, draw the bath!”—although of course, that ended, after 16 months, in lawsuits and allegations of beatings, herpes, etc.) (Doesn’t Sir Elton John have a Mr. Y?) (I’ll Google this.)

Mr. Z: The Brawny paper-towel man. This Mr. Fix-It wheels out the garbage cans, repairs the electronic garage-door opener, resets the computerized and (why?) tankless water heater.

Mr. Q: the cheerful intern. Mr. Q executes whatever tiny tasks you assign, without argument—he accepts a stack of envelopes and addresses them, picks up the dry cleaning before noon, is on call for 24/7 emergency carpooling, and, best of all, when handed a grocery list, returns with—get this—that grocery list’s exact items (“not Tropicana carton orange juice but fresh-squeezed Naked Orange Mango”).

The problem, of course, is that no one man can possibly be all four of these people. Mr. X is notoriously bad at processing feelings, Mr. Y is notoriously bad at fixing things, macho Mr. Z hates to be micromanaged, and Mr. Q does not actually exist in real life, although in modern marriages, husbands and wives often do treat each other as interns (“You pick up the dry cleaning!” “No, YOU should, by 5 o’clock! And put it on the United miles card, NOT Bank of America!”).

There are so many manosphere memes here you could write a graduate thesis. It recalls stitch-and-bitch meetings of the overpampered housewives known as “the noopsies” in the Fox series “The O.C.”

What I find bizarre here is that these women don’t seem to take any real joy or pride in their work – all of their kvetching is about how the home life is a failure. There’s no discussion of “I’m really proud of what I’m doing, but it makes it tough to have a good work-life balance.” There’s not even a whiff of “he just couldn’t handle that career was my first priority.” Just amorphous, unalloyed anger. This alone suggests the daytime emptiness of the career track, a grind that is ultimately unfulfilling and unrewarding to these people, except for the status and prestige they can use to demand higher-value men. Welcome, women, to the world we men have lived in for time immemorial.

(It is an interesting and ironic aside that even though we men so often define our self-concept by what we DO, as a group we’ve never sought to extract some overt “fulfillment” or “happiness” from our work the way today’s middle-upper class women have. Work is like marriage for them – its benefits are overpromised, and when the not-a-series-of-smiles reality of the daily grind comes clear, they complain they’re not haaaappy.)

THE TIDE IS TURNING, AND NOT THE WAY THEY WANT

There is one silver lining to this latest tripe from The Atlantic – the comments are absolutely eviscerating.

When men tore apart Kay Hymowitz’s WSJ piece almost two years ago, I knew we were getting somewhere. People also turned up their noses at that stupid “why women can’t have it all” piece a few months back. The worm is really turning, guys are tired of this women-can’t-make-up-their-minds bullshit.

Whether it’s the Manosphere influence or we’re just riding atop a nascent wave of disgust (probably somewhere in between), people are waking up.

For any man to stay married to any of the women portrayed in this article, the women would have to be the equivalent of the “best hooker in Bangkok” in the bedroom. The net negatives of spending your days with such unpleasant witches could only be offset (and even then not indefinitely) by regular, on-demand sex that rivaled the Sultans of ancient Eastern empires. No women can make enough money and provide enough golf opportunities to possibly offset the sheer annoyance of having to spend your days with the type of women the author describes (or the author herself, for that matter). No wonder “financially dependent men” tend to cheat more. If you were shackled with any of these women, who wouldn’t cheat?

How about these?

I can’t believe the Atlantic prints this type of sexism. That’s all this is, a sexist rant by a sexist woman, with little relevant to say except for attacking men. Reverse the genders and this would never be printed. It’s a sad state of the world when you only have to be aware of sexism when it’s against women.

This stuff really does need to be printed. I am a young male working on a professional degree and I am quite unprepared for the women I have been meeting. This article has helped me to make my mind up about one woman I have been on the fence about and has exposed the thought process for many women I will be encountering. We males need this information.

There’s even a comment about r/K selection, classic evo-psych (not going to quote it but it’s there).

Men don’t want what they’re selling. As one Nils Meyer puts it:

Yeah I think if you shack up with a woman like this, your whole life is a competition. First you gotta compete at work, then you go home and you gotta compete against your wife, and against the husbands/boyfriends of all her friends, against Don Draper, Edward Whatshisface, the dude from 50 shades of Grey, a selection of sex toys and the four husbands of the Gynocalypse.

Reminds me of one of Bruce Springsteen’s best live performances: “all day long you gotta prove it your boss, at night you gotta go home and prove it to your wife, on the weekend you gotta prove it to your kids…it just seems the joke’s on you, it never lets up.” (Monologue begins at 1:20)

There’s one factor in this I dislike: there seems to be an attitude that these women should shut up and appreciate how good they have it. I don’t entirely agree. These women have such contempt for men, such blinding hatred for the paeons who have dared displease them, that I think we should encourage them to speak their minds more. Educated men, the target mates for these women, need to know what women really think of them when we don’t live up to the gender roles expected of us, even as they protest that they shouldn’t held to gendered expectations themselves and as they subtly and overtly shittest us into helpmeet-househusband roles we’re destined to be resented for. (Not that they really need any encouragement to print more of this junk, have you browsed a bookstore lately?)

I’ve heard rumblings that the pendulum is swinging in another direction, that the youth of the Millenial era are eschewing the models of their parents and will usher in a new era of intersexual cooperation and collaboration. I’m not buying it one bit – Boomers had that same youthful idealism and look at how they turned into greedy, self-indulgent beasts in their collective middle age. And I still go out to bars and pubs and concerts and see Millenial kids playing the same failed hookup script in their late 20’s, with no real concept of how to relate to one another. However, I don’t think a tide of fem-dom relationships is upon us, firstly for the reason that the piece itself tells us that the women doing it really don’t like it.

THIS WILL NOT STAND

Articles like these are how I know Hannah Rosin’s “End of Men” meme is not really going to come true. Don’t get me wrong – we’re not going into some kind of pre-war trad-con throwback. Women will have careers – forget feminism, the economy demands it, and women who are good at it will find their rewards there. Some women will have quite high-powered careers. But as far as becoming partners and C-level execs, or owning your own practice, most women whatever their talents will not enjoy that lifestyle, both because it doesn’t leave time for other things women value (which has been acknowledged) and because it places them in a status position where very few men can satisfy the basic hypergamous instinct to look up to their mate (which in polite company has only been discussed fleetingly by James Taranto of the WSJ and is otherwise an unspeakable blasphemy against mainstream feminism).

Women still want to get married and have children, and they’re not going to sign up for jobs and career tracks that are, from the horse’s mouth, lots of bother and trouble and little personal fulfillment save for voluminous cheerleading from sheltered reporters and feminist writers and a vaguely envious look from other women who on balance are probably mostly jealous of the type of super-alpha men you get to mingle with.

You don’t need some angry article like this to show off the misery of that lifestyle, either. The popular culture has already been exposed, in meme, to this type of woman – Miranda, the homely attorney from “Sex And The City.” I’m thinking of that scene in the SATC movie where she indignantly tells her husband in mid-thrust, “just get it over with already!” so she can get back to her legal brief. (She later finds out her sexually desperate husband had a one-night stand to relieve himself, after which she inadvertently breaks up Carrie’s wedding by mouthing off to the already-reluctant Big about the unwisdom of marriage.)

Miranda and the author of this piece are what happen when Mary Tyler Moore and Murphy Brown meet reality.

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31 Comments

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31 responses to “Educated Women’s Contempt For Men

  1. greenlander

    The content of this post is pretty obvious to anyone that has taken the red pill. Yet, what you wrote is on-point and a great analysis.

    If I was still in the west, I’d be disappointed in the state of sex relations after reading posts like this. However, living in Russia I’m dating girls 15-20 years younger whose young minds are unmolested by the absurdity of feminism.

  2. These women are nuts and the best thing for men is for every man to ignore them. Ostracism is powerful. After all, what is worse than solitary confinement?

  3. “When your “mate” rubs your back, it’s impossible to relax while you anticipate what reciprocation will be required—five minutes of sex or, worse, a 20-­minute massage back. ”

    ughhhh….

    It’s time to go MGTOW full on….

  4. deti

    Somebody else made this point, probably Cappy Cap, about STL’s Four Horsemen of the Gynocalypse:

    Mr. X: The financial partner (read: beta provider)
    Mr. Y: The feelings guy (read: emotional tampon)
    Mr. Z: The Brawny paper towel man (read: hot alpha sex partner)
    Mr. Q: The cheerful intern (read: beta orbiter)

  5. M3

    “There’s one factor in this I dislike: there seems to be an attitude that these women should shut up and appreciate how good they have it. I don’t entirely agree. These women have such contempt for men, such blinding hatred for the paeons who have dared displease them, that I think we should encourage them to speak their minds more.”

    I totally and 100% agree. I’ve always been a great fan of allowing stupid people the opportunity to hoist themselves onto their own petard.

    Freedom of speech should be encouraged and be allowed to expressed no matter how ugly so as to see everything in the light of day and not allow it to skulk about in the shadows to fester and hide.

  6. Look at the comments on her article. The public is overwhelmingly against her and her kind. Or are those commenters just guys coming over from blogs like this one?

  7. Bardon

    What can I say ? As a Central-European man, I don’t see it here. I know perhaps 15+ couples where wife is earning substantially more than the husband & these marriages are,as far as can see, stable & happy. Maybe it’s an extremely materialistic-oriented milieu where such attitudes “flourish”. And, a mere common sense is enough: say, you got a Nobel prize winning husband in sciences (not lit, nor a quasi science like economics) who is married to a successful corporate lawyer wife. His salary may be 150-200 K, her 2-4 M $ per annum. Even if he gets his Nobel alone, it’s somewhere around 1.2 M $- the crown achievement with perhaps a world significance- which is less than her annual salary.
    You can’t base your marriage or LTR on earning competition. And yes, such females, I have to agree, actually dislike- I won’t use some stronger word- us.

  8. Phil

    Badgerhut,

    Have you heard about the Norwegian man, Eivind Berge, who was jailed for his anti-feminist writings? He was in jail this summer, then released. The government is trying to change the laws so they can put him in jail for years. Here is his website (http://eivindberge.blogspot.com)

    This is quite shocking for a government to lock up someone for anti-feminism, but it is happening. In Norway. Maybe you will want to do some posts about this?

  9. Sandra Tsing Loh couldn’t have written a more anti-feminist manifesto if she tried. Her conclusion is that men of the future should take up dancing, but the only message anyone received is don’t marry someone like Ms. Loh or her friends. They’ll never be happy.

  10. TIM

    Actually Berge encouraged violence towards the police and that was the reason they tried to jail him, not his antifeminism. His views are very extreme when it comes to rape.

  11. The One Reason

    Funny that you should write about this issue, as I’ve been thinking about these same contemptous, “educated” (well post-wall) women with their anti-male attitudes recently.

    My, thankfully, soon-ex landlady fits this bill perfectly, highly-educated, financially self-made — and a narcissistic c*nt slob. So many post-pill behavioural principles can be identified in her, not least the tendency of a woman turning against a man she no longer can take advantage of; in this case not agreeing to buy the rented apartment at a bloated price. A difficult, I-know-it-all person (no you don’t) even otherwise, the belittling attitude was soon in full swing, which I of course countered with gusto. Even worse as she totally reminds me of a narcy old cow ex-boss. Ah, memories.

    The issue of “Mr. X”, in turn, was fulfilled by her old FB, loaded with money, whom she married, to my surprise and dismay. With their tempestuous history, I’ll give it two-three years. And I was certain that he’d be banging some tastier morsel on the side of that walrus (or manatee, to keep it manosphere-current), (even) with his gruff manner and financial acumen, he could have landed a 35-40 y.o. HB8 with a healthy lifestyle (read: figure) to marry. But perhaps he prefers talking about money in the evenings rather than being “serviced” by a russian divorcee…

    No wonder that, with financing in place, buying an apartment is the only way to go… (OK, I did game the lady bank manager in the process, until she was giggling like a little girl as I mentioned the Barings Bank and Nick Leeson as an example of a stable, traditional banking institution. And all such. That and my official pussy-slaying leather jacket. Use your advantages.)

    ————
    That Berge blog is a great find, thanks. Levelheaded, well-argumented rhetoric from closer to your truly as the crow flies. Hmm, have to check out our harrassment laws, come to think of it…

    One girl raised her hand and asked if that meant if she had sex after drinking and then felt bad about it the next day for whatever reason, she could simply decide that it was rape. “Yes,” she was told, and I could see the smug look of power in her face.

    http://eivindberge.blogspot.fi/2011/11/my-antifeminist-journey.html

    The man in this case is 20 and he is being imprisoned for having relations with his wife who is 15. They were legally married in a place where this is perfectly normal, then made the mistake of traveling to a progressive society.

    http://eivindberge.blogspot.fi/2011/11/trafficking-charade-groweth-au-pairs.html

  12. sunshinemary

    Are real-world women really like this? How dreadful if so. I’ve always found STL extremely annoying; she’s always been nasty and foul-mouthed.

    Work is like marriage for them – its benefits are overpromised, and when the not-a-series-of-smiles reality of the daily grind comes clear, they complain they’re not haaaappy.)

    Yes, YES, that is so spot-on. And I think a lot of them are secretly a tad jealous of housewives. It’s odd the way they have to go on and on about justifying themselves. They’ve done what they wanted to do, but I think they actually hate how it’s ended up. Try reading this article Should We Just Quit Our Jobs and Get Married? for the perspective of some women younger than STL. It’s like they can’t make up their mind what they actually want.

  13. Infantry

    Good analysis.

    And yes, I too found it funny that the girls were pretending the brawny ‘alpha’ guy was only for fixing the plumbing. They think that their subcommunication channels are still private, like the Kriegsmarine with enigma encryption in WW2. Cracking the code helped the allies turn the tide in the Atlantic.

  14. mikec74

    They think that their subcommunication channels are still private, like the Kriegsmarine with enigma encryption in WW2.

    I’m seeing an uptick though in vehement protests that the code doesn’t mean what it says. NAWALT is essentially the core of that. I’m observing more and more certain women strongly insisting that no generalizations can be made about female behavior and communications. Every example is just an isolated anecdote. My sense is we are going to see more and more of an active campaign of essentially three card monte in terms of communication to men.

  15. Opus

    The fact that you do not find misandry amongst the poorly educated is I think in itself rather telling – and mysogyny is not a typical characteristic of the educated male, indeed the more educated the male , usually the highly the level of white-knighting and pedestalising. I suspect that F. Roger Devlin is therefore correct in ascribing to feminism merely envy of the male which manifests itself in a desire to bring down the male – for no matter how much women achieve whether by way of affirmative action or otherwise they will never be more a man than a transvestite can be a woman – who the more they try the more ridiculous they look.

  16. deti

    “I’m observing more and more certain women strongly insisting that no generalizations can be made about female behavior and communications.”

    Interesting, and true. Yet these women are cut from the same cloth as everything else in this culture, which doesn’t hesitate to generalize about men’s behavior and communication style, and has done so for at least the last 60 years.

  17. Candide

    “I’m observing more and more certain women strongly insisting that no generalizations can be made about female behavior and communications.”

    You guys know how to scare the shit out of these educated women? We stop explaining it to them. We do what we want to do – date different types of women, GTOW whatever – while not explaining anything at all about our actions. Let their imagination run wild and create nightmares for them.

    I read these blogs and it’s a shame that so many of our brightest supposedly Red Pill men waste so much time trying to talk to the NAWALTs. Why??? Hasn’t Game taught you anything about women?

  18. an observer

    Game had taught me that educated and women in the same sentence is an oxymoron. . .

  19. Pingback: Lightning Round – 2012/10/17 « Free Northerner

  20. Retrenched

    Every time I read an article like this I pat myself on the back for never marrying and not having children.

    Can you imagine how miserable life must be for the men in these cunts’ lives? Good grief.

  21. Oprah-Bob

    I prefer Asian and European women. On the whole, they are far more interesting, educated and aware than American women. Most American women are rendered delusional by Oprah-type media and illiberal, anti-intellectual education.

  22. Georgia Boy

    With regard to the illustration you describe (didn’t follow the link, don’t feel like sullying myself today), it’s a problem with these left-leaning MSM sites like Atlantic and Slate that the article writer, tagline writer, and illustrator are all different people and aren’t on the same page when it comes to what message they want to get across. Slate especially is notorious for writing headlines and taglines that have little to do with the article, and spin it as provocatively as possible to just get you to click.

    Anyway, I think how men respond to these articles still smells like the classic Mr. Fixit mentality sometimes. Sure, they complain on and on without accomplishing anything other than complaining, but that’s to be expected. There’s not going to be an end of men, but nor will we ever stop getting articles declaring the end of men. Women have always complained about men and will always complain about men. It’s a shit test, if you get drawn into arguing with them you’ve failed it. I just want to avoid paying for whatever free government cheese they want next, if they’re just complaining then I ignore it.

  23. Martian Bachelor

    @mikec74

    “The women’s movement wanted above all to liberate women from any definition of woman.”
    – Harvey Mansfield (http://www.iwf.org/news/show/18819.html)

    @Retrenched

    Heck, I grew up hearing how marriage was *the* way men and The Evil Patriarchy most oppressed women, so I’m expecting N.O.W. to build us all a statue (or something) any day now in appreciation for how many women we’ve liberated from anything resembling the horrid state. Why do we need to Man Up! if we’re already heroes?

  24. Mark

    The irony is that many educated women work in government jobs or government subsidized jobs in fields like higher education or health care and the money is coming from taxes paid by men in the productive private sector so female independence from men is largely illusory. When all the educated women start voting for the pro-free market, small government political candidates, then they can start writing articles about how they don’t need men.

  25. Anonymous

    Doug Giles on his new book “Raising Boys Feminists Will Hate”… bolster your sons’ resistance to educated women’s contempt!

    http://raisingclassickids.com/

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  27. shoe

    These type of women are why I married someone from South America. I live a traditional life, with an appreciative wife, who homeschools my two well-balanced boys. And every day is a pleasure to come home.

  28. Jack Amok

    I read these blogs and it’s a shame that so many of our brightest supposedly Red Pill men waste so much time trying to talk to the NAWALTs. Why??? Hasn’t Game taught you anything about women?

    Any time you are having an on-line argument with a fanatic, the point isn’t to convert the fanatic – they are what they are and always will be. The real audience of what you write is whoever’s reading. Specifically, in this case, perhaps some 20 year old woman who has not yet been ruined. If she stubles across one of Loh’s feminist screeds and sees nothing but scorn for the vile creatures Loh champions, perhaps it plants a seed of doubt in her mind, that following Loh’s path is not a good idea.

    That seed won’t flourish in every young woman, but for every one where it does, the world is a tiny bit better.

  29. Pingback: Reciprocal Scarcity: A Treatise in Two Parts (Part II) | The Badger Hut

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