The Close Line

One of the typical struggles in the novice gamester’s experiences is getting the number smoothly.

Now, some guys insist that in night game, a number is next to worthless. To be honest, I’ve found that in a bar/club environment when you’re dealing with a woman who is inebriated and acting out of what she perceives to be her character, she may get your call or text the next week and decide she wants to forget that night entirely. Part of the fun of going out for girls is the dressing up in costume and “playing” someone else for a bit. That means she’s going to see whatever bond she may have forged with you as incongruent and not redeemable for further contact.

But if you can’t move the encounter further along (either through a location bounce or a trip home to attempt the seduction), your only option is to get some contact info so you can try to pick up the pickup later. And in day game, escalation is almost always off the table, so getting a number is THE end goal of the day-game encounter.

DON’T ASSUME A FRAME OF MEEK RELUCTANCE

I think guys have frame problems with number closing because in night game, you only go for the number if you’ve been stymied and thus rejected in some way. It takes some effort to keep bad game from leaking out in a dripping, underwhelming “well what if I got your phone number and maybe we can you know meet up later and like have a coffee or something?”

As with other factors of game, it’s important to not take the premature end of the night personally; she could have promised to drive her friend home, she could be ragingly hot for you but had a bad experience with her last SNL, perhaps her friend cockblocked you and she’s going to make it up to you next time she sees you, or maybe she’s just really tired and knows she can’t make it happen that night. A lot of these are bullshit that guys tell themselves to salve the pain of rejection, but no matter what, you won’t get anywhere getting butthurt or angry that you’re not getting laid that night.

It’s important to understand that it doesn’t make you beta to have closing anxiety; lots of guys who are very successful with women do, and in fact the game writer Dagonet (The Quest For 50) said he broke out of a game rut when he started going after hotter women who gave him that heart-pounding-in-his-chest feeling. My track coach had a saying that if you didn’t have some butterflies, you probably weren’t ready to race as you hadn’t properly addressed the magnitude of the competitive event. You get a little nervous? It’s OK. (What DOES make you a beta is if you can’t execute the number close with a woman who is signalling that she is interested in you.)

SOFT BUT BOLD

So, how about that number?

I’ve cribbed a line from Roissy and dannyfrom504 that has brought me much success, and fits well with my “still waters run deep” style of presentation.

After announcing your intention to leave (or receiving hers), say “would you like to continue this conversation later?” This has to be said with outcome-indepedent nonchalance, or she’ll get that trying-to-save-face-from-a-rejection vibe we just talked about. Her body-language reaction will tell you if she’s about to give you a pity number or actually wants to see you again. Then you hand her your phone and have her punch in her number and name (bonus opportunity for some cheap kino at the same time).

This line is great because:

It makes clear what you want without being domineering: There’s no permission-seeking wishy-washyness like “maybe we can hang out sometime?”

It’s overtly non-sexual: Unless you’re talking with a bona fide slut or the sexual boundaries of the conversation have already been breached, you have little to gain and a lot to lose by going sexual in your close like “why don’t we get together again and finish what we started.” And if it’s a daygame approach, a sexual close is a non-starter.

It’s subtle: At the same time, it feeds the hamster – by giving you her number, she’s not committing to a “date” or anything serious and heavy like that, just to “continue the conversation,” which itself leaves her wondering what your intentions are. You both know in your gut that it’s more than just more chatting, but she doesn’t have to rationally acknowledge it, which maintains uncertainty and thus helps keep her anticipation level up. You are already setting up the quasi-spontaneous “it just happened!” frame for your next encounter.

It’s tempting: Rather than begging her to give you a chance to seduce her, you are offering her another chance to roam emotionally with you.

Think of a good saleman’s frame when closing a customer. He isn’t asking for what he wants, he’s giving the customers what they want, which causes them to give him what he wants ($$$) in return. And what they want is not just whatever product is at hand; it’s the sense of comfort and security that life is going to be better, that they have something new in their life to feel good about. That’s where you’re going with “let’s continue this conversation later,” a little piece of hope that she has something exciting and original to look forward to amid all the herbs and betas trying to supplicate their way into her pants.

One final thing for night game: once you’ve locked up the number, excuse yourself politely and tell her “it was nice talking to you.” Then turn your body, face the door, and as you begin to walk away, give her a smack on the tail on the way out. That will get her tingling, introduce rapid-fire contrast game, and most importantly, she can’t shit test you about the escalation because you’re already gone.

16 Comments

Filed under beta guide, dating and field game

16 responses to “The Close Line

  1. I really like this. Will use it the next time I get a girl’s number.

  2. Combine that line with handing the girl your phone with the Add a New Contact screen up so she can punch her number in herself and you’ve got a winning combination.

  3. Young Hunter

    By saying “Would you like to continue this conversation later?” you’re also indicating that you and her already share something of value. That’s inherently contrasting in an approach because its comfort building on one hand, but with a total stranger on ther other.

  4. FFY

    Wait, I thought this was going to be about dealing with rejection?

    “When she walks past you stick your arm out past her neck and Close Line!”

    But seriously, good stuff. You gotta avoid wishy washy “eh…well…uh…can I have your number?”

  5. Usually I just hand a woman my phone with the contact screen pulled up, relying just on body language and expressed intentions to get it done. Doesn’t give them a chance to say no.

    From the reactions I’ve gotten, the ones that would say no instead question, “Oh, you want my number?” Gives you a chance to add in a last bit of amused mastery with a few options, “That’s what phones are for” “Nah, I wanted your friends number” (with smirk), or hell, even just a simple nod and treating the question like something only a special little puppy would ask works.

    Then leave just as Badger describes. I hadn’t thought of the ass slap, I’ll have to try adding that.

  6. I like this idea quite a bit.

    But what do you guys think of using “I’d like to continue this conversation later” instead? Too overbearing? Feels like it would be more direct.

  7. pdog,

    “Combine that line with handing the girl your phone with the Add a New Contact screen up so she can punch her number in herself and you’ve got a winning combination.”

    Are you talking about this part of the post?

    “Then you hand her your phone and have her punch in her number and name (bonus opportunity for some cheap kino at the same time).”

  8. Maier,

    “But what do you guys think of using “I’d like to continue this conversation later” instead? Too overbearing?”

    I think you’re overcoaching yourself. Use whatever intonation of the line you want, just don’t say it too strongly. Phrasing it as a question does give her something to respond directly to.

  9. Leap,

    I got the ass-slap from David DeAngelo, who recommended a booty smack after passing a woman’s shit test.

  10. Badger,
    I love it. It’s like a reward for everyone for you passing a shit test.

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  12. “you’re also indicating that you and her already share something of value.”

    I hadn’t thought of that angle, nice catch.

  13. Verite

    Interesting post, but as for the ass slap….any quality girl would be pretty pissed off and never speak to you again. I’m sure it would work on the crazy sluts, so use it if that’s who you’re going for. I’m kind of horrified that guys would think this would work on a girl they just met. But someone you’re already seeing is a different story…I like the playfulness of it.

    Also, I think that saying (with solid eye contact) ‘I’d like to continue this conversation later. Let me give you my number.’ She puts your number into her phone, then you say (still with solid eye contact) ‘now call me’. Voila, you have her number. This is one of the best ways a guy has gotten my number :-)

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  15. well thought out post. i like it. i think it’s very important to not forget about the “eye fucking”, the masculine gaze that never looks away first. yohami and d&p and xsplat and others have written about it, and tyler had a video about it.

    eye fucking is huge. it is the most important part of communicating with a girl, imo — aside from standing up straight and dressing well.

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