The Trojan War was an epic war of antiquity fought between the invading Greeks and the defending city of Troy. The pretext for the war was the elopement of Helen, sister of the Gemini twins Castor and Pollux and the most beautiful woman in the world, with Paris of Troy after she had been promised to paper-alpha Menelaus. The expedition was led by Menelaus’ brother Agamemnon and included the heroic efforts of cousins Achilles and Ajax.
The Greeks laid siege to the city for ten years before delivering the final blow in a creative ruse designed by the noble warrior Odysseus. The Greek force feigned their surrender by burning their camp and delivering to the Trojans a giant wooden horse ostensibly offered as a sacrifice to Athena for the blessings of a safe trip home. Filled with soldiers, the Trojan Horse’s true purpose was made clear when the troops inside escorted the remainder of their army inside the city walls for an epic sack of the city.
With the history laid bare, the real purpose of this post is to ask one question:
Why would you want to use a condom that is named after the people who lost the war (a war that began via infidelity), and who lost specifically because they let bad things cross their protective barrier?