Ricky Raw’s 31 Days of Game

Billed as “human nature and sexual politics” (not unlike my tagline), The Rawness has long served as one of the more timeless installations of various brands of Manosphere wit and wisdom. I can’t recall I time I’ve clicked on a Rawness link from Ferdinand Bardamu’s Sunday links page and not come away more enlightened one way or another.

Rawness proprieter T (AKA Ricky Raw) had a great series called 31 Days of Game in which he chronicled a bevy of game tips over the course of May 2010. Not wanting to steal the man’s thunder, I’ll just list them here.

  1. When initially establishing eye contact with other people, especially an attractive woman, always make them break eye contact first.
  2. When doing prolonged, intense eye contact, even if you have done everything right and awakened sexual interest in the girl, after two such instances your stock will start to plummet each additional time you maintain eye contact without actually making a move.
  3. Approach Groups of Women Alone
  4. Don’t Get Tunnel Vision.  Remember the Whole Group.
  5. Always Aim to Talk Less Than Your Target.
  6. Your Woman Can Never, Ever, Truly Be Your Best Friend or Closest Confidante.
  7. On a primal level, a woman would rather share a high status man with others than have a beta or omega male all to herself.
  8. Tell, Don’t Ask. [in terms of trying to get her to do something]
  9. If the woman you desire offers you something, graciously accept it.
  10. Aim for Charisma: Not Charm.
  11. Do Not Talk Ex-Boyfriends.
  12. Don’t Overcompensate and Become An Abusive Bully, Tyrant or a Robot.
  13. You Already Have a Mother.
  14. Avoid the Interest-Only Upgrade (I.O.U.) [dating a woman whose only attractive quality in your eyes is her sexual availability]
  15. With women, there is almost no such thing as an accidental, meaningless touch. [That also goes for eye contact -Badger]
  16. Women bond more intensely and passionately with a man who takes them on an emotional rollercoaster than a man who keeps them consistently happy.
  17. Apologize for your actions, not your thoughts.
  18. Don’t use self-deprecating humor except in rare occasions.
  19. Talk To Your Fucking Friends [when out where the women are]
  20. There’s a difference between sexual and horny.  Learn it.
  21. Never Cower.
  22. Have Platonic, Attractive Female Friends.
  23. No matter how comfortable you feel with someone or how convinced you are that you are in a place of emotional safety with a partner, always remember that first and foremost you’re expected to be a man.
  24. Work on Your Character.
  25. No One Person Can Complete or Fix You.
  26. Some interesting links guys should read.
  27. Don’t Dance Ironically. (“…dancing is an advertisement of one’s comfort with their own sexual and sexual confidence, and nowadays the white males most cocky or confident enough about their sexuality to advertise it in such a flagrant and open way are gay men.”)
  28. Everything Is A Test.
  29. Front vs. Clout: You are what you chase, and you attract what you are.
  30. Recognize and Avoid These Three Games: Rapo (a trap into rejection), Kick Me (passive aggressive baiting into victimhood), and Let’s You And Him Fight.
  31. Everyone Plays Themselves Sometime

I’ll footnote to add this. To a beginner to social dynamics and inner game, this sounds like 31 different points of advice all over the place, which combine with dozens of other maxims to form a cacophany of seemingly-discordant lessons. After a while studying (and practicing), though, this stuff all becomes deductive, flowing lucidly from a few basic principles and a healthy dose of experience. It really does become congruent.

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15 Comments

Filed under beta guide, dating and field game

15 responses to “Ricky Raw’s 31 Days of Game

  1. Ricky is the man and the Rawness is the shit.

  2. A really great section of tips. This and the approach anxiety were both really helpful – its good to see these things all at once. It makes incorporating them as a whole that much easier, rather than just a few that make you look unbalanced and forced.

    At least, thats what I’ve noticed. I’ve gotten much better results employing a whole mindset rather than one or two behaviors, even if the mindset is one I’m unused to and mediocre at.

  3. KK

    A timely reminder for an exceptionally good game primer. I’m gonna read those again.

  4. greenlander

    great post, Badger.

  5. Zesty

    As a woman, I have to say this a pretty depressing list.

  6. Zesty,

    Please elaborate.

  7. P Ray

    Defensive dating … just the way women do it :)
    Equality is the way forward!

  8. Zesty

    Well I did read this while getting over a sinus infection, but 16 and 23 just struck me as a bit sad. Having done the emotional rollercoaster I can say that it didn’t bond me to him. It wore me out and broke my heart so I’m avoiding any sign of that like the plague. If you’re talking about younger women who want to be the exception to the rule, then I would say that 16 holds a lot of truth. I guess it depends on what constitutes drama and in what context. Dating drama is not necessarily relationship drama.

    As for 23 – “expected to be a man” What does that mean from the male perspective on this? Because if my partner is sad, upset or whatever, I would like to think they could just be a human being about that and allow me to support them, as opposed to keeping some sort of game face up because of my female expectations of their manliness. Perhaps I misinterpreted?

  9. Thanks for this link.

    Your critiques are valid Zesty. In fact, that rollercoaster one is probably my single biggest mistake in my blogging career. Some aspects with the rollercoaster one that I had in mind when writing it, something I should have clarified better, is that you have to be in charge of the rollercoaster, not be a passenger on her rollercoaster. And while a rollercoaster is fun in short doses, even the best rollercoaster if you’re on it too long will make you sick and unhealthy. Rollercoasters are meant to be ridden in short doses, not be the norm.

    However the more I looked at it since writing it, no rollercoaster is good, whether you’re in the drivers seat or not. It’s just rewarding bad behavior. I was actually thinking of revising some of those entries, particularly the rollercoaster one, or shelving that whole series altogether and replacing it with my updating school of thought, but I haven’t gotten around to it yet. Anyway, you’re absolutely right that that specific post is horrible advice.

    Zesty, I recommend you read everything I wrote AFTER the 31 Days of Game until now. I think you may find it more helpful.

  10. I want to add a few things: I think the rollercoaster one is bad for two reasons. First, it keeps the bad personality, disordered chicks in your life. Even if you are in the driver’s seat and end up giving them a taste of their own medicine, you’ve sold a piece of your soul and become a little but more like them in the process. Whatever benefit you derive isn’t worth the price. Second, that attitude hurts good women and only benefits bad ones. Good women who don’t like drama get emotionally scarred and you drive them out of your life while bad women who like drama get rewarded because they just want stimulation and attention, even if they’re bad.

    23 is still one I stand by though. Even though I think it’s unfortunate and I agree it’s sad, you should minimize neediness and weakness, because my life experience has taught me that 9 times out of 10, even when a woman thinks she can handle and support a man through such phases, she often can’t. Do I wish it was otherwise? Sure. But life has taught me over and over again to err on the side of strength until a woman really proves herself worthy of trust. Keep in mind though neediness and weakness are different than vulnerability. “Being a man” doesn’t stop you from occasionally showing vulnerability or or admitting you need help.

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  13. Tom

    Hey T AKA RR,

    I know this is a late reply to an old post, but probably won’t hurt to bump it anyway.

    Concerning the Rollercoaster, I agree with you it’s probably not a good tactic to take a woman on such an intense ride.

    OTOH, as Franco, that great master from the days when alt.seduction.fast was a functional usenet group put it: “If you don’t give your woman a dose of drama at the right time for her, she’ll create some for you.”

    Intentionally dragging a woman on a push-pull rollercoaster may be a mistake, but not figuring out *when* she needs drama and *how much* is an important part of ongoing female maintenance. If she has to retreat into romance novels, or worse: shitty behavior, to get her dose, you’re not doing it right.

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  15. “If you don’t give your woman a dose of drama at the right time for her, she’ll create some for you.” — love this. own your woman or she will own you.

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