Much has been discussed about the “friend zone,” the circle of celibacy into which a woman places a male acquaintance she is not attracted to, such that she can continue to develop emotional connection with him without commensurate sexual involvement.
A brilliant comment from Ribbon Butterfly at HUS posits the counterpart of the Friend Zone:
She’s bro-zoned him.
Bro-zone is different from friend-zone. It’s usually a transitional phase, heading towards friend-zone. Bro-zone is where women place attractive men who are off limits.
How you’re treated in bro-zone: the way the woman imagines that a man might treat his bros. Sadly, women often have no idea how men interact in an all-male pack, so her idea of treating you like a “real bro” is to orbit you, the way nice guys have orbited her before. It’s what women act like when they’re trying to pay forward all those times that THEY had an orbiter.
Fascinating stuff – a way for a woman to pre-emptively reject the thought of having a relationship by replacing it with a different kind of relationship, as if she’s hoping he will friend-zone her and stop being so damn attractive. “Women often have no idea how men interact in an all-male pack - ain’t that the truth. She waxes more:
She probably thinks you’re Just Not That Into Her, by dint of you sleeping with the other girl. But at least she’s going to be the Nice Girl and be supportive and be there for you and eventually you’ll just become good friends.
Meanwhile, if she’s going to be happy for you and support your actions wrt the other girl, the way a Real Bro would, she might as well seek your now-unbiased advice. Your information on how the other side thinks is valuable. If she can’t have you, she can at least learn how to snag someone like you.
She might even cheer you on if you decide to Game/play/sleep with multiple women at a time. Because that’s what a Real Bro would do.
Ohai there, I think I’m just projecting now. Though I’ll say I really have bro-zoned guys before. Some of the males in my class, for example. Very attractive men, have a little Game, we joke and connect on a personal level – but they have girlfriends. Or they just broke up. Or they’re way out of my league. Bro-zoned them all. There’s a window of time in which bro-zone can swap back into date-zone, but it diminishes quickly, and eventually everyone moves to friend-zone.
I’m guessing it doesn’t really move into friend-zone, it’s more that the woman stops being interested and so it becomes an actual friendship without serious sexual interest on either side.
What’s wild about this particular case is that the man is interested in the woman; if RB is right, the girl is also interested in him, and with a little communication they could blow this bro-zone thing away and starting pounding like a sledgehammer.