Godspeed, Brendan

In a comment left here and at Dalrock, Brendan/Novaseeker announced he would be leaving the manosphere. He had already shuttered his blogs a few weeks ago.

http://badgerhut.wordpress.com/2011/06/08/i-told-you-that-girl-crazy/#comment-1662

Brendan suggested that he felt unmotivated by the advice and debates of the scene; in particular he mentioned traditionalism, MRA and the debate about marriage as not relevant to his life.

I have come to accept sudden entries and exits as part of the game we play.  One of the difficulties of any social-relations movement is that every micro-generation needs to be re-trained by patient, knowledgeable instructors. You can only re-emphasize the same points, and re-argue with the same opponents, so many times before you get tired of it and it becomes a burden. Blogging and the Internet itself can be addictive when you feel you have something to say. My own experience in other online communities taught me how being an active, trusted member can quickly but imperceptibly become an albatross, a character role you feel an obligation to fulfill, an unwilling commitment to carry others through the fog or play their foil.

Pyrotechnic exits are becoming sadly routine. Solomon II’s blog was hacked into on the eve of his never-published final post. I did not have a wide manosphere palate when Talleyrand and Alkibiades hung it up (although their blog name, Seasons of Tumult and Discord, was among the coolest in the scene), but I could detect a sense of loss among the readership. The Man Who Is Thursday was reportedly discovered by a member of his church group. I noticed some changes at Roissy around the start of 2010, but it wasn’t until months later that I discovered the details of his “outing” by a vengeful bloggress (rule: don’t engage haters, especially not ones who truly hate you). Just this week Rivelino’s stream-of-consciousness blog (it could have been described as “macro-twittering”) got discovered by an associate and shut down.

Given these dramatic events, I’m happy Brendan took the opportunity to go out on his own terms. It is something I wish more of us had the humility to do, like a great sports figure hanging it up before he gets old and creaky and cruel to watch.

Brendan has put in a Herculean performance for an unusually long time, and I consider him a first-wave member of the Manosphere. His is a name I always looked for in comment threads and it was a big boost to my blogger ego when he started commenting here.

Many good friends of mine in college and graduate school I never talk to anymore. If I do they take weeks to return email or phone calls (and I sometimes do the same). They’re doing new things – some got married, some moved OCONUS, others just lost touch. I used to get torn up at every life change, a nervous wreck thinking of all the people I’d miss. But now I have no hard feelings about this process; it’s just the way it is, there are very few people in life who will be your friends forever. It’s the price of living an “alpha life” – if you’re constantly pushing for new and novel things, you have no choice but to clean out the old stuff on a regular basis, and there’s no more calming (if bittersweet) feeling than conclusively closing the door on an old phase of life.

All the best, Brendan.

 

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59 responses to “Godspeed, Brendan

  1. detinennui32

    First!
    For someone who felt unmotivated, Brendan sure could bring the “AHA!” moments. His was a voice of wisdom, insight and reason. He’ll be missed.

    Badger, this post points up and interesting phenomenon here. Manosphere bloggers get attacked frequently, I submit because there are those who fear the truth. I lament the fact that the truths spoken here are controversial at all, but they are. I only hope I can have the courage to stand up and be counted if and when the time comes.

    “there’s no more calming (if bittersweet) feeling than conclusively closing the door on an old phase of life.” Just so. And something I should do far more often..

  2. detinennui32

    Another thing: In the past few days a lot of ammunition has been expended. I sense some retreat to the fronts, tending to the wounded, and stepping back to cultivate some perspective.

    I think this is also good.

  3. Tim

    The Man Who Is Thursday was reportedly discovered by a member of his church group.

    He is a lawyer from Toronto I believe. But even if he were discovered, so what? I don’t get this. It’s not like he was displaying child porn. He wrote thoughtful stuff…and so he deserves…to be outed? WTF?

    I noticed some changes at Roissy around the start of 2010, but it wasn’t until months later that I discovered the details of his “outing” by a vengeful bloggress.

    Yep. I always wondered what he did or if he got fired or even if he moved out of DC. His best year was ’09. Incredible writing.

    Brendan left the best comments for sure, but he is wise to keep on moving. I’ve been around this area since about this time two years ago. I can’t remember how I stumbled upon The Thinking Housewife, but it was Laura Wood who steered me to Roissy believe it or not. She referenced him in one her posts, so I checked it out. The rest is history. And here I am. But there is so much mileage one can get out of this. I don’t think there is an area we haven’t covered regarding men and women. Even Roissy has little to say, and he hasn’t in quite some time. His was a meteoric rise but brief. If you want to read his best writing, read his first two years. But after ’09 there is scant little to say.

    Best to move on, Brendan. This ground has been covered. And covered. And covered again. Good luck in all you do.

  4. detinennui32

    @ Badger and fellow Hut residents:

    (BadgerL At the risk of being labeled an attention whore, I’ve cut and pasted this comment here from your previous post because it ties in with the above post. Also, I jumped the gun and commented before you posted on the very issue I wrote. Of course you captured the sentiment better than I did. If you want to, delete the comment from the previous thread.)

    Thanks for putting up with my long witnded comments. I’m probably going to hang out here and write stuff as long as Badger doesn’t ban me and is willing to let me ride on his back.

    Brendan’s departure moves me to write this little stream of consciousness before moving on for the day.

    About three months ago I stumbled onto Roissy after reading one of Kay Hymowitz’ diatribes. I have an interest in sociology, but did not know of the “manosphere” or a “seduction community”. I thought “shit tests? What is she talking about? And what is a Roissy?” I was fascinated with the insight, historical and factual information, and wisdom (not to mention the excellent writing. I admire skillful wordsmiths).

    I did not know it but I spent my free time the next three or so days ingesting a big red pill. I had memories, good and bad, of past relationships rushing back. Floods of triumphs and tragedies in my LTRs and marriage returned to the forefront. My average looking buddies in college could score and I couldn’t. I could never figure out why. But sometimes I found girls — not the ones I wanted, but perfectly good 5s, 6s and 7s (in my league, not the 8s, 9s and 10s who clearly were beyond me). And I could not to save my life figure out what I had done to attract them, or why, or what the dynamic was. I spent years trying to decipher why my wife would get so mad at me, and all I was trying to do was to be nice, to do what she wanted, and give her what she wanted.

    And suddenly in a few days of reading, it all made sense. No amount of rationalization or hamsters or objections or feminism could cover it or explain it. The manosphere sites explain exactly what happens and why in male-female relationships. I realized what I had been doing wrong. I realized that all my life I had been told the absolute opposite of what to do in male-female relationships. And I was stunned that absolutely no one I ever knew did anything to set me straight.

    Coming here can get tiring. And tedious. And depressing. Especially when you see hamsters on crystal meth come into these parts. That’s because the culture of toxic feminism has oppressed men for a long time. There’s some necessary agitation and downright pushback going on. There’s alos a lot of good, positive work too (see Badger, Dalrock, Athol Kay, PM, and Susan Walsh, just to name a few). There’s been some cleaning up and retooling around these parts, trying to bring a more upbeat message. That ‘s a good thing. Brendan’s departure, though, is the loss of a wise voice of reason, and he’ll be missed. But I’m confident someone will fill his shoes at some point, if not with his eloquence, perhaps with his rapier insight.

    One of the things I like to do is throw in my two cents. I hope that some young guy in high school or college is reading. wandering around here. And maybe he’ll see himself in some of these posts, and take a red pill. And maybe, just maybe, he won’t make the mistakes I made, And he’ll know a good woman when he sees one. And maybe, just maybe, this little place can improve the lives of both men and women. I know I’ve acquired a world of knowledge in just a few short months.

    So thanks to all of you.

  5. Bb

    “I have come to accept sudden entries and exits as part of the game we play. One of the difficulties of any social-relations movement is that every micro-generation needs to be re-trained by patient, knowledgeable instructors. You can only re-emphasize the same points, and re-argue with the same opponents, so many times before you get tired of it and it becomes a burden. Blogging and the Internet itself can be addictive when you feel you have something to say. ”

    Well said. Like @detinennui32 I just took the red pill a few months ago and everything is bright, shiny and new. I would have never thought to start blogging, for heaven’s sake, but I want to analyze so much of this. And I’m sure the topics that I’ll be covering/reacting to have already been covered ad nauseam. But all this has happened before, and it will happen again.

  6. Everyone is free to leave anytime they want. Yet I find it sad when their blogs disappear. It’s like a difference between someone who stops writing books, and someone who also finds all existing copies and burns them. It is easy to forget that on internet all good texts we like can anytime disappear forever.

    I understand how frustrating it can be to discuss important things on internet. Stupid people find you, and then you waste your precious time discussing with them on your own page. Even worse, some people may use your texts against you in the real life, which is like backstabbing.

    I wish it would be more safe to express some opinions openly.

  7. Stephenie Rowling

    You know this post frightens me.
    I plan to start a blog on my own, but I really can’t afford to be outed at any point.
    My friends live very conservative life’s but they identify liberals and I really think I probably end up working in one of their places so the same problem.
    My husband knows I’m a reader of the manosphere but not sure how he will take me writing and supporting this so strongly and he is not ready for the pill and I think you will understand me when I say “I need to get laid” so I rather not risk him being so mad at me that sex becomes something I need to work at.
    That is mostly paranoia talking (he is great and he loves me), but I believe you should always be cautious.
    Is there any advice to make sure you don’t get busted?
    That will be a good post to make.

  8. Bb

    @Stephanie I think one must just assume it’s possible to get identified. My practice is to only write about what I’m comfortable sharing—and could be blasted on the front page of the New York Times: “Bb blames Peter Cetera for the demise of Chicago!”

    I handle work email the same way. Anything else is just too risky.

  9. 1lettuce

    It’s strange that fear of being outed as a manosphere blogger is so prevalent. Perhaps it’s because the stuff we talk about is very honest, raw, and at times, not PC.

    It’s been a few months since I stumbled onto citizen renegade, and similar blogs, and it’s been a revelation. Reading about attraction and how it works, I see the unwritten rules of modern sex and dating.

    But it’s a shame that such blogs have such a negative connotation to them. Even I didn’t like to think of Game before I learned about it.

    Still, I hope many young guys like me will listen to the advice thats out there with open minds.

  10. passer_by

    @stephenie

    “My husband . . . is not ready for the pill . . .”

    Says who?

    “I think you will understand me when I say “I need to get laid” so I rather not risk him being so mad at me that sex becomes something I need to work at.”

    Men aren’t predisposed to withhold sex as punishment, especially men who haven’t read up on game. But you might get a good spanking out of it if you play your cards right.

  11. Butterfly Flower

    I always wanted to ask Brendan about the etymology of his former blogging handle. Novachaser, as in chasing supernovas?

    Supernovas create gold. All of the r-process elements [gold, platinum, etc] on Earth were created by nigh-primordial supernova explosions.

    What a clever Astrophysics based metaphor.

    Discovering wonderful, precious elements in the aftermath of a calamity.

    Brendan endured a calamity [i.e. divorce] but I hope he can discover something wonderful and precious in its aftermath.

    …although his departure post was written in a somewhat disheartened tone. I just hope his spirit hasn’t been broken. The Manosphere can be quite depressing and pessimistic.

  12. Stephenie Rowling

    “Says who?”

    Says him? I often comment on small bits of wisdom I get here, he considers half the talk here by the rule “1 in a million” and some of the comments on manosphere he disagrees a lot.
    You need to remember that he has me as a wife so he really doesn’t experience problems with women anymore (beyond me talking to much and trying to be too nice which is something I’m working on ;)) and his friends like many men never talk about “their problems” so even though I can see some of them starting to have issues (controlling wife one, batshit insane wife another) they are still relatively young and paired up with 30 something women.
    Only two of them had divorced and those are the ones that live the farthest and have less contact and they don’t talk about the details so if they were taken to the cleaners is a secret and the other still have babies and toddlers, usually for the married man things start to fall after the last baby is big enough or the eldest kid get his first false rape accusation. So far things are not looking insane, yet.
    I’m mostly protecting my household and gathering info for when things do have something to show to them to help them the best way I can, so meanwhile I should be careful.

    “Men aren’t predisposed to withhold sex as punishment, especially men who haven’t read up on game. But you might get a good spanking out of it if you play your cards right.”

    Hehe I might need to consider that…seriously. :). I don’t know is not so much he punishing me than him placing me into the “prejudiced woman” ladder. He always has been quite selective about the women he finds attractive and prejudice against liberals is on not attractive not even for sex ladder. I’m protecting my ranking if you catch my drill.

  13. There is a lot of turnover and you should always assume you will be outed at some point. Specially if you are any good.

    Brendan was I agree an excellent commentor.

  14. passer_by

    I guess one way to avoid being “outed” is to just use your name like Athol and Susan. :)

  15. Stephenie Rowling

    Mmm maybe I will just wait a bit more or keep just commenting is not like manosphere is running out of female bloggers. ;)

  16. Tim

    I’m protecting my ranking if you catch my drill.

    LOL!

    I’m protecting my ranking if you catch my drift.

    But you can catch my drill anytime, Steph.

    Muamuahaha…

  17. Stephenie Rowling

    Heh mean so mean…The only drill I catch is my husband’s ;)

  18. whiteboykrispy

    Blog turnover is always a bummer. So much of that going on lately.

    Solomon’s departure was especially saddening, all the more since he had to shut it down ASAP without any warning.

    I mostly encountered Brendan over at HUS, and always nodded in agreement with what he had to say. I can see why he’s hanging it up, though. On some of these comment boards it feels like you’re beating your head into the wall over and over again with some of the commenters there. Same stuff, same message, same truths, same not getting it.

    @1lettuce

    Funny you should mention that about male writers having to worry about being exposed and ostracized. I found my mind wandering about the same topic the other day as well.

    Take Sofia, a blogger with close ties to Ferdinand Bardimu. She talks about much of the same stuff we do and is not politically correct (she’s good, I won’t lie), yet uses pictures of herself for her twitter. If she was ever outed, nothing bad would happen to her.

    But men writing about all this stuff, the rawness of the SMP and seduction and whatnot? Well that’s just evil! We can’t have that!

  19. Getting outed is a real dilemma.

    I hang on tight to my anonymity as much as possible. Yet an old girlfriend has already found me and posted on my blog. She’s a remarkably intelligent and resourceful woman but I was still completely shocked and I found the experience to be very unnerving.

    Brendan was a great voice, I’ll leave it at that.

    There is a lot of turnover in the Manosphere. But this is fundamentally healthy as it keeps fresh voices turning up from the soil of discontent and gives opportunity for new ideas to be expressed.

    I resisted blogging for years. But when I hit 50,000 hits and saw the generally great comments to my posts, blogging has become something exciting and stimulating for me.

    I hoist my very cheap and very cold beer to Manosphere bloggers old, Manosphere bloggers now, and Manosphere bloggers new.

    And I’m mulling over the idea of holding a Manosphere convention. Yeah, a real life meeting of the minds….”MS1″

  20. dannyfrom504

    i have no idea who brendan is, but if Badger is mentioning him, then i’m sure he’s of fine stock. Riv told me about what happened. sucks that his blog went private, he’s a great guy.

    the hipocrissy out there is maddening. GOD FORBID, men learn the truth and actually act like men. OH NO, feminists can’t have that. it’s perfectly fine for feminists with an anti-man agenda to emmasculate men and champion an anti-man movement. but heaven forbid men give men HONEST and SOUND advice on women. men are belittled and berated in the media and it causes not even a tiny mention in any social outlet (outsde the manoshere at least). yet hundreds of books and interwebz articles are coming out trashing men………….and not a peep. it’s like the media referencing illegal immigration as being anti-immigration. WTF!!?? feminism screams for “equlity” whilst fighting tooth and nail to kick men down.

    there was a girl on RIv’s site who’s being an asshole to me. she mentioned having my facebook and that she’d maybe, “let my girls know that i was talking about them on a blog.” my response to her was “do you want.” i honstly didn’t/don’t care. i can’t imagine why people blogging honestly would feel ashamed or embarassed at being “outed”.

    i really hate that i can’t articulate as well as i’d like when talking about this crap. FML.
    good post Badger.

  21. Looking Glass

    Hey, I’m really new around these parts (at least for commenting), so a few things.

    First, while I didn’t agree with everything Brendan wrote, he always approached things without the malice normally associated with Blog Comments. That’s *always* appreciated. So, Godspeed to him in all he does.

    Like detinennui32, I ended up in this sphere due to the responses from Kay’s book. Glenn Reynolds posted a link to Roissy’s response to Kay. I followed the link and marveled at the clinical destruction he did to her argument. It said to me he had a solid understanding of the fundamentals that you simply don’t see anywhere else. I didn’t stay there, as picking up women just isn’t my thing, but I did see a link to Athol’s page and I’ve been running around here ever since. I, like most of the rest, had an LTR go off the rails on me. I somehow could make the relationship work as a near-cripple, but it couldn’t work after recovering from the medical issue. I wanted to know why and I do analysis of this type as a career, I just never applied it to my own relationships.

    On the issue of anonymity, I can give a lot more insight into this than most people. I’ve been around the internet since the beginning of browsing (yay for Mosaic!), but I also know my way around the bowels of it pretty well. Have a lot of practice at the tricks & understand how you have to operate. But, a few points about some of the true double standards around, to explain the risk differential.

    Due to the way society works, there are simply things that, said from one person, with their assumed point of view & interests, is taken as open inquiry. If another person, from a different walk of life, makes the exact same point, it is taken as anywhere from offensive to a full assault. This is why a woman can make a lot of the points around here about attraction & interaction, and then just be written off as “a lost soul” for what she says. A man is at a much different risk due to his reputation and the currently 1-sided nature of a lot of discrimination laws. (Side note, remember that in an office environment, the difference between a self-harassment suit & a date is only success. Don’t underestimate that dynamic in most of this) Someone can make your life hell by badgering your employer. A women has much less risk than a man does in this regard. Further, the instant response is you’re a misogynist. This is thrown out *first*, before any discussion or argument happens. This setups an important 2nd point, that Bb touched on.

    Saying something on the internet is *no different* than saying something in real life to a random stranger. You better be able to back it up. You don’t get pissy, you don’t respond in anger and you don’t escalate things. I’m at something of an advantage to most people in this regard, as I spent most of my youth studying so I could argue against people. I *thought* people that were talking heads knew what they were talking about, so obviously I needed command of the facts to talk on all subjects. Little did I know they were mostly partisan hacks with the occasional bit of knowledge. But there was the occasional one that got shouted at that knew what they were doing. I taught myself to become that guy that really did know damn near everything, or at least how to sort the information in a functional way. (You may have seen me over on Athol’s blog working out a lot of details while posting, hehe) So I have the power to pretty much defend anything I’ve written on the internet over the last 15 years. That’s the big thing: *Do Not Write It* unless you want to defend it to your mother. You need to show mastery of a subject when you’re wading into thorny ones. True mastery of a subject, or open inquiry, is almost impossible to fake. Like errors in relationships, they sit there at an instinctive level that we know something is off. We can literally smell a fake these days, unless you’re buying in to what they’re selling. (It’s more noticeable in real life, generally) So, if you’re going to write in this sphere, be ready to back things up. Which leads to a few guidelines for self-defense I’ll get to in a bit. First, the technical stuff.

    This is what you’re going to need from a technical end.

    Download:
    - Firefox
    - Download & install TOR ( https://www.torproject.org/projects/torbrowser.html.en )

    TOR let’s you stay anonymous, as possible, by IP. You simply want to use it for all of this work, if you have to value anonymity really highly.

    You need to setup a new, online persona completely devoid of every other email or name you have. Something like Yahoo’s Ymail can work. Make sure the security questions aren’t associated with you, either.

    Use a service like Blogger or WordPress *ONLY* from inside TOR. All of the contacts go back to that completely clean Email that you setup in TOR, as well. If you want to stay hidden, you also use a fake name from some random work of fiction. Heinlein is great for that.

    You don’t use anything else from inside of TOR. You don’t Twitter, Facebook or anything. This becomes its own little world inside your computer and on the internet. (Fair warning, TOR is a little slow, but if you want to never have any tracks, this is the way to go; you could skip the TOR step and just do it from inside a separate browser, but you leave your IP around on any website you post on, so that’s the worry)

    Then, it’s a matter of content guidelines and what you want to do:
    - If you can’t say it to your mother, think three times about posting it.
    - If you want to stay hidden, you never talk about your location or what you’re up to. Personal stories better fit into the “Mother Rule” or you open yourself up for being found out.
    - People you know will find out, at least in passing, you’re doing something on the internet. Better have a good idea what you want to say when this comes up.

    Now, depending on your content will dictate how much personal type of information you want to disclose. IF, you want to talk about trying to work out Game as a dating strategy, I HIGHLY recommend you leave 0 hints of your physical location. Beaches & Rivers should become “Body of Water”. Places become “Bar1″, “Street2″ style changes.

    IF, you want to talk about the more theoretical aspects, you can give up more location information, but be VERY cautious about telling your personal stories, as you’re more likely to be figured out by someone in passing, especially if you get popular suddenly. Little things say a lot about your socioeconomic and sociopolitical status. You can’t completely remove those, so don’t post something you can’t defend.

    If you’re confident in your position in life and don’t plan to post anything you can’t defend, then I do recommend the Athol Kay route. Being open does give the reader a different view of you, but it’s also clear to everyone you interact with that you do talk about those interactions. So, “prudence” and “trust” become very key to your relationships. It’s no different than knowing a fiction writer, everyone eventually ends up in the books. But, there’s a certain level of confidence needed for that. Even Athol has run into issues, and what he does is really tame (better marriages are so wrong! Really, that was sad when that happened)

    So, it really depends a lot on what you want to do. You can stay hidden pretty well, so long as you don’t stray too far from your core ideas and don’t post things about yourself that actually reveal anything. Using an example from the past few days, Kat (the blogging adulteress), is only slightly able to cover her tracks. She did manage to strip the picture meta-data (better known as: if you post a picture from your phone, someone can get your address in 5 minutes), but I think I got a name in 15 minutes and could pin down who she is in probably 2-3 hours. And I’m not very good at that stuff. (We don’t realize how much we assume when we post stuff, but I offer her no ill will, so I have no reason to inquire more) Though Kat’s major blunder is her twitter feed. “Careful” and “30 tweets per day” don’t go together.

    @ Stephenie: buy a copy of Athol’s book. Read it yourself, then hand it to the hubby. Your boundaries are already pretty good, but I would toss it out there as more of a “ideas to make life easier”. If it’s working well, then start handing it to friends, especially the ones with problems already noticeable. It’s not terribly “friendly” to watch a friend spiral into disaster and just stand there on the sidelines when you can help.

    And, speaking of giving away a certain level of information, is it noticeable I used to be a semi-professional writer? :) And I’m not even being verbose!

  22. Looking Glass

    Had two other thoughts about “spreading the word” and what will be necessary.

    The first is that there will need to be something like a Christian-construction of Athol’s key points. Sounds odd, but you’ll have a whole lot more traction in the Christian circles, firstly, than you will in most secular ones. If you can make an argument to hold onto “traditional values” but not traditional methods (or any methods for that matter), you’ve got a massive market from which to cause effect. This is known as the Dave Ramsey effect. Dave is just preaching very basic financial advice that’s easily implemented without too much fuss. It’s a corrective that’s easy and completely compatible inside religious circles. And that’s where he operates a lot without any issue working in the secular sphere as well. What works, just works.

    The other needed thing is slightly separate from the first, but would likely come after the fact. You need a set of people that could openly advocate this knowledge in an easy to digest manner. We talk about it as the “red pill” because it’s rough, but every guy knows other are better at getting women than them. We can see the success and can’t fathom how it works, but we know at the gut level we’re doing something wrong. So the appeal, in the mainstream sphere, is to the gut instincts. This means it needs to be easy. Call it the “6 New Age Maxims for Living!” or some crap like that. It’s basically a break down of detinennui32′s 10 commandments into something you can repeat & debate easily. This let’s people come into it easily, without having to get hit in the face with failure to first get there. It needs to be the truth of relationships, as viewed by Julia Child not Roissy. For the mainstream work, that’s simply the important part.

    Last side issue is that, the pre-work to part 2, could be something like a “first principles” post by either Dalrock or Badger or someone else that we can *all* point to for what we’re doing. Athol’s work is really specific and a lot of the “red pill” isn’t laid out but learned by reading. Someone needs to really craft a post like detinennui32′s commandments, but very specific to what these sphere of bloggers are really about. It’s a “We Believe” statement, but I really haven’t found one, honestly. Or at least, I don’t see many links to them if they are there. It should be linked on every page of the sphere blogs (and copies kept around in different spots). It’s to codify what’s really going on. The easy stuff, not the hard-edged stuff. I’m not advocating hiding the hard stuff, just working people in. Much like you don’t start drinking alcohol with moonshine (generally!).

  23. Great advice, Looking Glass.

    As for me, I blog under my moniker partly for anonymity but mostly for persona. As you’ve outlined, unless you are taking extra measures a fake name is about as effective as TSA security checks. It keeps out the casually curious but not the hardcore outers.

    If you are going to write a Roissy-type blog, go completely anonymous and give no possible identifying details whatsoever. Roissy’s huge mistake was to give an interview to the Globe and Mail where his surname employer was identified, and then to engage in a massive taunting context with a quasi-borderline blogress whom he gave plenty of purpose to seek to ruin him. There will always be haters, but never go out of your way. I understand the temptation, there’s an allure to writing on your own electronic wall and knowing people will read it. Especially if you’ve created a synthetic identity for yourself.

    Susan and Athol have the best deal in being totally open, but they are female and married respectively and get social protections based on that. Single guys talking about sex is going to arouse (see what I did there) ire and criticism. I always check my posts with “if I had to explain this to my boss could I do it with a straight face?”

    As for Kat, cheaters are known to get narcissistic and think they are invincible, but I have a feeling she almost wants to get caught. She’s posted on the size of her family, age differential of her husband, details of various trips for sex, allegedly one of the AM screennames – if someone (i.e. her husband) had a good bead that she was cheating it would not be hard to verify the rest.

    But I think she thinks that little of her husband, she doesn’t believe he’s capable of putting it all together or wants to. It’s certainly possible other people in the community know and have taken the tack of “if he’s too dumb to figure out what’s obvious then why should I nuke the family on his behalf?” Generally, people don’t look out for men that way.

  24. Two other disadvantages of anonymity, besides the technical difficulty:

    1. You have to separate your personal and electronic worlds, which means you can’t share the blog with friends, and many of us get into the blogging game to help guys out and who better to help than those we know IRL.

    2. You can’t present your blog product as a reference to possible employers or other people who need to know your real identity. I take great pride in my writing, but I can’t exploit it in any serious way.

  25. Stephenie Rowling

    @Looking Glass
    Thank you for all this. I have many things to ponder. I do want to go Athol’s and Susan way to defend marriage and try to create a brigde between genders, so its not like I plan to do something awful. The part were I will say to feminist to shut the fuck up is what worries me.;)

    I already have Athol’s book and I already sent a copy to a closer friend’s husband in need. I’m observing how it works for them and take it from there.
    I’m observing the other marriages to find the perfect timing. You need to remember that I am a woman from a third world and I’m new to the circle. I can’t just say “Here your marriage is going down read this”. They will commit me or something.
    I of course want all of us to have a good long lasting marriage and tons of babies. I’m waiting to make my move.
    My husband is a wonderful man, but I know what he will find offensive and what no, I need to wait for a good moment as well with him a moment where his liberal views are not matching reality, and that probably will not be on a while.
    I also don’t need as much Alpha traits from him (in fact I’m pretty much allergic to them) so I’m afraid he will go all the way to Alpha and I will start to lose attraction and then I will be destroying a marriage that I already think is perfect trying to improve it, Athol’s offers no guarantees on that aspect.
    So far I feel loved and desired and the sex is great I adore, respect and admire my husband and I’m also horny as hell from him. If things change I have a Veto Breast power that I plan to use on telling him to read the book. ;)

  26. Looking Glass

    Yeah, Kat is definitely an overinflated narcissist. And someone is definitely reporting most of the Manosphere sites as Adult. But, I think Athol’s going 18 only might have done a chunk of that, but you can’t discount the fact that he had that interview with Inside Edition.

    I do want to add 1 idea to that “foundation” post I mentioned as needed. Think a FAQ question:

    Response to the Red Pill from someone: “Just be yourself and it’ll work out.”
    Answer: “No, being *yourself* isn’t working for most guys. You are *not* advising them to be themselves. You are advising them to be *you*, but can’t explain the fundamental details of yourself. If you want to explain why you can get women with ease, you’ve got a nice career for yourself in the waiting. If you can’t, then what you’re doing is giving advice that will *ensure failure*. That isn’t advice, that’s blocking any potential competition.”

    That sound good?

  27. Looking Glass

    @ Stephenie. Ah yeah, well, that’s good. If things are working, keep it up. Just maybe create a dialogue about *why* things are working. What you two feel you’re doing right. Keeping the communication is really the hard part. We wear each other down in relationships, so little things add up over time if not addressed. It’s the little choices that add up to kill relationships, with standard caveats.

    And, yeah, Athol isn’t an assured prescription, plus you have to be careful. I should probably be a little more circumspect in that regard, but I also tend to practice “intellectual brutality”. Woe is the random person who thinks they know what they’re talking about when spouting obvious non-truths. I don’t tolerate stupidity in real life ^_^

    As for your husband, I do have to ask 1 thing. Do you mean “Liberal” in the American or non-American sense? In the USA, we have Conservatives & Liberals. Outside of the USA, they’re called “Liberals” & “Progressives”, respectively. It changes approach a little, hehe. But building a common inquiry into why things are working is never a bad thing and starts out completely neutral. When you can open with, “hun, you know, I was thinking, and I feel we’re doing this marriage thing pretty well. Have you ever wondered what it is we do that others simply aren’t?” It’s a nice ego boost and deferral to his thoughts on the subject. And it’s not a conversation that I think most guys would mind having. Actually, the Girl Game in that is really good, lol.

  28. Stephenie Rowling

    “As for your husband, I do have to ask 1 thing. Do you mean “Liberal” in the American or non-American sense? In the USA, we have Conservatives & Liberals. Outside of the USA, they’re called “Liberals” & “Progressives”, respectively.”

    Oh didn’t knew this difference. Well is an interesting conundrum him and his family live a fairly conservative life: married, no sexually promiscuous, no gays so far. But they identify liberal because they think church goers are hateful racists morons, they vote democrat, are feminists, support gay rights and so on. So aside from not going to church they could be confused with conservatives. I’m also like that but I’m more curious so I stumbled upon all this truths happening right under our nose.
    So when manosphere yells that women are evil he can’t take the rest any seriously. Even though the Hydras are popping out he sees it as “isolated cases” so again timing timing timing, he is a smart man and he will connect the dots eventually and fatherhood probably will give him a new perspective. It probably won’t be long though his friend has an idiotic teen stepson, he is hot, vain, and stupid. A walking false rape accusation waiting to happen. For his graduation gift I will give him a cell phone with a note “whatever you do record it, please” because now that he is going to turn 16 he is going to be legal for the blame game, hopefully he will remember that. God protect him from his idiocy.

    Thank your for the advice.I really appreciate your interest *hugs*
    I do have a daily conversation in bed over coffee with him every morning and sometimes we do discuss our relationship I will try to make it more often. I also comment some of the manosphere claims specially the ones he can google himself, I’m a patient woman we have eternity to work things out. :)

  29. Looking Glass

    @ Stephenie. You might want to turn off that Avatar pic. I don’t know if that’s a fake name, but you might want to turn off whatever that is. (It’s different from Stephenie)

    I remember a few years back I was reading news reports on a French election, and was really curious what they meant by “Anglo-Saxon Liberalism”. Was funny when I realized it was a slightly-racist comment about UK/US approaches to market economics, which have been slowly taking over the more socialist aspects of France for a while now. The term “Liberal” has come to mean something quite different state-side, compared to the rest of the English speaking world. Actually, the term is very negative to most people, it’s why most don’t self-identify with it, even though effectively everyone here is “classically liberal”.

    As to your husband and his family, it sounds like they’re what you’d call “traditionalist” more than anything else. They’re an interesting set of the American public. At their very core, they mostly just want to be left alone by politics. The problem is, to do that, you just “go along to get along”. Both parties in the country have these types of people, and in large numbers. They tend to vote along family lines, so it’s likely his family has been voting Democrat since they looked something like New Deal Democrats. They’re important, but at the same time, they’ve come to appreciate the trappings of the traditional American culture, without understanding or fighting to defend why it works, which is the type of people the Manosphere eventually wants to reach. Once they buy in, it means its set in the culture.

    So, we actually have a rather large interest in how things go with your husband. :) And I’m also sure they’re quite nice people. They tend to be, they just could use some of the benefits that come with the traditional religious observance that’s necessary for more to live like them. It’s kind of like humming a song without knowing the lyrics. You get the basic idea, but you can’t really sing it.

    A lot of what we’ll be doing is going to be similar to the post-racial movement that’s been active for some time, just without anyone actually realizing it’s going on. By that, what I mean is this: race *does* matter… for medical outcomes. Race doesn’t matter for a lot of other things, but it does matter for a few things. This is almost all the result of Genetics. This will get more important as time goes on. There’s already blood tests with different results if you have African heritage, along with an FDA approved heart medication for them as well. These are actually regional differences in the genetic expression of certain processes. There’s one that comes up a lot as well that you’ve probably never heard of. For immunology, there’s what’s known as Type 1 & Type 2 Immunities. While they started as competing ideas around 1900, it turned out both scientists were actually right. It just depends on where you’re from. If you’re from around the Equator and South America, your Type 2 immunity levels/function is far higher than most of the rest of the world. That makes for some wacky results with vaccines and a few types of medication. This is important, but it’s only recently that we’ve been able to openly discuss these issues. They’re important; they *will* have a massive effect on medicine over time. But due to the nature of human history, and the strive to eradicate the hatred built up over the ages, when we finally broke off the shackles of those hatreds, we applied a near blanket ban on discussion of race. While I’d make a strong argument that it was the right thing to do, there’s still an important medical value to your genetics. Something we’ll all have to come to deal with, no matter who you are.

    20 years ago, I couldn’t have even broached this concept without being flatly called a racist. The pain of what making value-based racial distinctions did & still does to the moral character of humanity is severe. Racism is ugly, with heavy emphasis on the “ugly” part. But what the Genetics movement has done is open a doorway to actually accepting what racial background means in a medical context, without using it as a pre-disposition to making value judgments based on it alone. (If you want to never trust an academic again in your life, look up Phrenology & Eugenics; those were mortal sins of Academia that they’ve never brought to bare the consequences) We’ve gotten far enough past the hatreds that we can actually and calmly talk about the bits that are important, without devolving (most of the time) into the ancient hatreds of “others”. This is a triumph, but you still have to tread carefully, as many do not like to even broach the subject of differences. There is power in the term “racist”, to the point, like all forms of power, it can be abused just as easily as properly applied. (Most differences in actions tend to be culture & sub-cultural, but that’s a discussion for another time)

    Actually, I’m getting slightly off on a tangent, but I just realized the first “Red Pill” I ever took. I was in college, and one of the books we read for a class was the Autobiography of Frederick Douglass. (Can buy here if you haven’t read it: http://www.amazon.com/Narrative-Life-Frederick-Douglass-American/dp/0312257376 ; there appears to be a free Kindle version right now too) When I was reading it, it hit me like a ton of bricks what he was saying. But not for the reasons most do. Yes, it’s rough and his descriptions of the physical violence hits home, but the analyst in me always wondered how the system could survive. Frederick Douglass explained it very easily. It was *all* about the reading. The slaves actually had an insane level of autonomy, but they carried their culture of servitude wherever they went. Reading literally expands the mind and allows you to question the basis of what you’re doing. Then, the system followed up with an almost complete corruption of the human soul. The power to control someone’s life so corrupts the soul that it’s effectively unrecoverable. This is the entire heart of the struggle of Western self-rule for the last 1000 years. Having to maintain society to survive, but struggling with the corruption of the power that comes with it. Power corrupts everyone, and the more you have, the more corrupted you become. The description of the corruption of previously pleasant woman that he was sent to as a servant was one of the worst things you’ll ever read. She was no different than most anyone else you’ll meet today. She was just a woman of her time that was generally decent. Marrying into a slave-owning family condemned her to a hell she just didn’t understand, comprehend or ever consciously know. The institution of slavery set about to murder the soul of anyone in its clutches, slave or free. The physical brutality of western slavery pre-Civil War wasn’t anything unique or actually that brutal compared to the things that would come in a 100 years time (See King Leopold II’s Congo Free State or Battle of the Somme), but the institution was fully capable of surviving forever; forever destroying everyone it touched. (Btw, William Wilberforce is probably one of the most important historical figures of his entire era, or all time, but we don’t talk about him that much in history here in the USA)

    I bring this up for two reasons. (Neither of which is that what we’re doing is akin to the Abolitionist Movement) The first is that the “Red Pill”, that concept & realization that completely breaks you out of the frame you just existed in without thinking, applies in more than just the Manosphere. There is a lot of things in life that you just accept that can easily turn out to be wrong. I was prepped for a career in Physics or Mathematics at one point, so accepting that I’d spend a lot of time & energy being catastrophically wrong was already wired into me. I just never expected it to happen quite so much in the rest of life. We have so much still to figure out, the world really does await us.

    The second point, and this is something we’ll all need to be cognizant of as we proceed. While the vanquishing of slavery was a fierce moral victory for us in the Western world, don’t think it’s been cleared away in the rest of the world. And don’t think there is not some analogues to the plight of women outside of the Western world. But, as we’ve all come to see, the Third-Wave Feminists don’t really care about women, they care about power. Good luck *ever* getting most of them to wonder about the plight of women outside the Western world. It undermines most everything their pushing here, these days. (Sharia law horrifically oppressing women in the Islamic world? Massacre of selectively aborted girls in India & China to ensure a male heir? Sexual assault against women in Sub-Saharan Africa?) So the problem we’ll encounter, and the reason female voices are going to be very important, is that the moral underpinning for the Feminist movement has a basis in the moral urgency of correcting certain treatment from the pre-industrial era. (Ignoring the fact women in the Western world have been treated better than anywhere else, comparatively, for the last solid 750 years or so; it gets a little messy sorting things out from there) But what they’ve done from moral urgency lost its logical underpinnings, to the point that the current, Western feminists can’t really explain what is legally different between Men & Women these days. All they can point to is genetic, chromosomal differences that can only be corrected by the mass oppression of Men. Men & Women being fundamentally different does not compute to them, at all.

    To take the “Red Pill” is to learn there *are* differences between the sexes, they *do* matter and, no, we don’t mean you put *anyone* under the jackboot. That everyone should be equal before the law will never mean that everyone is equal in every form. The only way to make everyone be of no differences is to repress every form of “self” that exists. The movement that wanted equality has morphed into a movement that wants to destroy the family, the core unit for raising children, by means of destroying the ability for women & men to exist in healthy relationships. This is of mortal consequence to ourselves and our progeny. A society that can’t instill the ability to survive collapses, then we bless our children with the base nature of humanity: brutal barbarism. The blessings of Freedom is the necessity for always fight for its existence. An existence that is always under threat. “Progress” for humanity is not assured and never will be. The forces of repression exist in the souls of all of us, such that we must fight and instill in the culture the knowledge of that danger and the methods by which to fight it. It is a never ending battle for our own souls. All we can do is our best, for that’s all we’ve ever been able to do.

    While I may be channeling my inner Christopher Hitchens, this stuff is serious. We’re not going to be advocating for Marriage 2.0; we’re in Marriage 4.0. We want to see Marriage 5.0, where we can channel the base impulses inside all of us into a modern society where women, men & children all have the ability to live mentally, emotionally & physically healthy lives. We can’t do that when we openly ignore the physical reality that *cannot* be changed. We don’t have to like the realities, but we must deal with them if we have any hope of surviving.

    So, umm… thanks Badger for hosting “Discourses with Looking Glass”. :) Guess I really shouldn’t think about this stuff on my days off.

  30. The Inside Edition piece was a mistake in the short term at least. I always assumed there was a chance that I would get in trouble at work for writing, I did not think Jennifer would also get in trouble.

    What’s crazy is we were warned off about being essentially openly hetrosexual, monogamous and sexually active. I put the blog behind the 18+ warning, but we lost about half our daily sales rate that way. So I removed it and we will live dangerously again.

    The Inside Edition piece gutted my primary message, made me look like yet another Care Bear husband and we got just 1200 hits to the blog from it. I’ve had a few other TV, Radio and newspaper appearances that I haven’t even written about on the blog. If it’s not something that has a hypertext link to the blog or the book on Amazon it is basically worthless to me. The blog is the gold, the rest is dross.

    Anyway, I’m hiding in plain sight. That’s about it.

  31. CSPB

    It seems to me that the manosphere is a step on the “red pill” path. Many participate for an extended period of time and even assume a role of a sage, but even they eventually move beyond and move on. It is a great credit to Brendan that he was so well respected in all corners of the manosphere. Although recently he did not post frequently, his reputation was well established.

    I post less than I did in the past. I pass on commenting wacky projections or correcting fallacies that I previously would have actively engaged in. At some point, I too see leaving the ‘sphere, but for now I am commenting less, similar to what Brendan did over the past year or so. I have been somewhat active in the ‘sphere for about 2 years and have written articles but have never had my own blog. It would not be difficult for others to determine my identity and I am circumspect in what I write to avoid any major repercussions if I were outed.

  32. OffTheCuff

    I have no illusions I am anonymous, though I do use a separate “identity” for men’s issues. It just makes it a bit more annoying to track me down, but, really, there’s enough details for people to easily peace it together. Everything I write, I think, is defensible. If someone “outs” me, I’m ready to say, yup, Mrs. Cuff and I have an awesome married sex life and this is why. That said, since I know I’m not anonymous, it means I do hold back quite a bit.

    On the bigger picture, after a only a few months, I realize I don’t care for debate all that much. I’m here to learn directly from elders such as Brendan, directly from the women who can introspect, and learn-by-negative-example from women who get stuck rationalizing everything away as people to avoid.

    For us men, there will be no changing of unwilling minds, particularly young women’s. It’s better for us to converse with introspective women, and let them deal with the hamsters directly. If can be of occasionally be of service to some young men, that’s great, but I think my credentials are still quite noobish in this area.

    Any of the blog owners could find the real me through IP location, my real secondary email address, posts on other forums, whatever.

    And outing Kat would be a joy to behold.

  33. Vincent Ignatius

    The greatest danger for a man with game is being outed by one of his stalkers. Most other people don’t care enough to put in that effort. Roissy was a special case, though he certainly pushed LR’s crazy buttons in much the same way good game drives a girl crazy.

    I recommend adding details to make it seem like the blog couldn’t possibly be written by you. If you have details that can be linked back to you, change them. If you’re a tall white guy going to NYU, pretend to be a short black going to Stanford. Whatever it takes. This will dramatically alter some field reports, but it’s worth it.

  34. Confidunce

    One reason I’m starting to flake out on the manosphere is that it seems to have a limited set of messages and lessons. My discovery of Athol Kay and Roissy had a profound impact on my development, especially after my divorce. But having digested those lessons, I’m weary of the quasi-political movement that seems to have taken over the manosphere. Instead of learning about new techniques and the science behind game, a lot of blogs have devolved into xenophobic bitching. I’m sad to admit that I hardly even bother to check Chateau anymore.

  35. Stephenie Rowling

    “@ Stephenie. You might want to turn off that Avatar pic. I don’t know if that’s a fake name, but you might want to turn off whatever that is. (It’s different from Stephenie) ”

    Actually is a mash up of Stephenie Meyer (Twilight) and JK Rowling (Harry Potter) so is totally fake. You think my cat places me in trouble? I choose an avatar to find my comments more easily when debating a point. Can I pick a generic sign?

    “which is the type of people the Manosphere eventually wants to reach. Once they buy in, it means its set in the culture.”

    Manosphere problem is that they need to organize and remember to rules of propaganda and proselitism: “make it look pretty and a solution to all their and people will listen.” Given that men communicate in direct language this is a real barrier, aside from the extremists that are yelling women are scum every other paragraph.
    In other words you need a leader or several. Someone like Obama that is charismatic, has no dark past to use against him or her, knows how to talk to people and give people’s hope for a better future. Hopefully the ones that are married and reproducing can have an heir that could do this job. That is about the only way you can reach the moderate mass, IMO.

    “So, we actually have a rather large interest in how things go with your husband.”

    Heh I’m sure everything will be fine. Something that is not politically correct but that I find is a good rule of thumb is that a marriage is as happy as the woman in it is, men don’t have a lot of expectations all they want is regular sex, loyalty and love. Women on the other hand women have this HUGE list of needs so things are harder for them, given that I’m actually a quite content happy person unless my husband cheats on me or beats me I’m sure I can be happy with him for better or worse. So I’m not worried about us.

    “If you’re from around the Equator and South America, your Type 2 immunity levels/function is far higher than most of the rest of the world. That makes for some wacky results with vaccines and a few types of medication.”

    I’m Dominican that actually explains something odd that happened to me. When I was getting my legal immigrant visa they gave me like 4 vaccines at the same time, and I felt like crap for two weeks which is odd because I had been vaccinated a lot before in my country with no secondary effects whatsoever. l I though it was because I’m getting old or something like it. I felt so bad that I opted out of getting my flu shot and Shingles vaccine because I’m totally terrified of the side effects. Fascinating indeed.

    “But, as we’ve all come to see, the Third-Wave Feminists don’t really care about women, they care about power. Good luck *ever* getting most of them to wonder about the plight of women outside the Western world.”

    Well the most infuriating part is that they use this problems for their benefit, if you check a feminist site you will see that they imply that the reason the do slut walks is to avoid this country to become like those, because if women exercise prudence and restrain men will force them to most restrain so being promiscuous is a way to fight the evils of the women of the third world…idiotic and manipulative, and yet it works with them.

    Heh I love your dissertations, you totally should have a blog as well. the more the merrier ;)

  36. “Men aren’t predisposed to withhold sex as punishment, especially men who haven’t read up on game. But you might get a good spanking out of it if you play your cards right.”

    Now we’re getting somewhere.

  37. Passer_By

    @Stephenie
    “Actually is a mash up of Stephenie Meyer (Twilight) and JK Rowling (Harry Potter) so is totally fake. ”

    He’s talking about a different name that appears if one clicks on your avatar (or even points at it).

  38. SayWhaat

    @ Stephenie:

    You think my cat places me in trouble? I choose an avatar to find my comments more easily when debating a point. Can I pick a generic sign?

    It’s not the picture. You might wanna double-check it.

  39. Butterfly Flower

    Given that men communicate in direct language this is a real barrier, aside from the extremists that are yelling women are scum every other paragraph.

    That’s the problem with the Manosphere. It actively discredits itself.

    Misogyny is just as childish as Misandry.

    @Stephanie:

    I hope you start a blog. You always write terrific comments. I especially like how you don’t generalize all young women as dopey Alpha chasers [a lot of women involved on the Manosphere seem to do that...]

  40. Stephenie Rowling

    *points at Avatar*
    AHHHHH!
    i’M SUCH AN IDIOT. Didn’t knew this was going to happen. Yep good thing I’m not a superhero

  41. Stephenie Rowling

    Thanks BF :)
    I work under the premise that everyone is good and decent till proven otherwise. So far has worked really well :)

  42. The loss of Brendan is just huge. He is an intriguing character – he has revealed that he went to Stanford and then Duke Law. A very smart man, and it showed in his analysis of the SMP. Perhaps the most intriguing thing about him was his relationship – he is in an LTR with a woman he met online via commenting on blogs in the manosphere. That’s awesome!

    I was always flattered and privileged when he deigned to comment at HUS – never enough for me.

    A funny tidbit: A while go Obsidian had a post for the women about which men are hottest. Alte, Grerp, Sdaedulus, and myself were all joining in. At one point, I said, “Nova is hot.” Everyone agreed! We all had a thing for Brendan. He was just so smart and kind and eloquent. He left a comment, slightly abashed. A while later his gf came on, saying, “Back off ladies, he’s mine!” It was great. Those were early days for me, and some of the best.

    FWIW, I enjoy not being anonymous. I made a decision early on that I wouldn’t write anything that I’d have to lose sleep over. I recognize that not everyone can do that, but there is something to be said for not fearing being outed.

  43. Tim

    I remember that. That was on Obsidian’s old blog in 2009. I didn’t know those were early days, though. To me, “early days” are when Roissy started his blog in 2007.

    My impression of Brendan was of a man who could compose an argument as scrupulous and exacting as a Jesuit. I completely understand a desire to move on, however. After two years, there just isn’t more to say. To be honest, I would be surprised if Roissy and certain others didn’t close up shop soon.

  44. Höllenhund

    “A while go Obsidian had a post for the women about which men are hottest. Alte, Grerp, Sdaedulus, and myself were all joining in. At one point, I said, “Nova is hot.” Everyone agreed! We all had a thing for Brendan.”

    I wonder if you’re aware that he wrote that feminism infested the minds of virtually all women and most women have become the enemies of men.

    http://www.the-spearhead.com/2011/02/17/the-moral-equivalence-of-the-emoting-housewife-and-her-sycophants/#comment-72311

    http://www.the-spearhead.com/2011/02/17/the-moral-equivalence-of-the-emoting-housewife-and-her-sycophants/#comment-72351

    He also said he doesn’t care about the future of Western society because it’s in terminal decline:

    http://traditionalcatholicism.wordpress.com/2011/03/17/why-young-men-dont-marry-why-should-we-care/#comment-7501

    The funny thing is that you women usually recoil in disgust when any other man makes such arguments. “Gosh, what a misogynist twat!” Packaging apparently matters a lot to you.

  45. Aaron

    I’m not familiar with Brendan at all, sounds like I missed out. Is there a way to read his blog somehow?

  46. slwerner

    Butterfly Flower – ”I always wanted to ask Brendan about the etymology of his former blogging handle. Novachaser, as in chasing supernovas?”

    Actually, his blogging name was Novaseeker

    I’m not certain of his choice of the word nova, but long before the discovery of Supernova’s, the word simply meant “new star” (latin).

    BF – ”Discovering wonderful, precious elements in the aftermath of a calamity.
    Brendan endured a calamity [i.e. divorce] but I hope he can discover something wonderful and precious in its aftermath.”

    I never got the impression that he was sharing his (ongoing) journey of “self-discovery” in the wake of his ex-wife’s infidelity and their subsequent divorce. He was much more focused on trying to teach others about what he’d already learned, and used his own personal experience only as an example [unlike what a lot of (female, especially) bloggers do in seeking to simply draw attention to themselves by trying to draw people into their on-going issues (because they crave attention and sympathy)].

    Brendan always conveyed a certain objective detachment from his own personal example, and seemed to have been a peace with it before he started blogging. And, his brilliant (no, not reference to the amount of light emitted by a Supernova) insights were never dependent on his status as the victim of the female sexual liberation inspired by feminism. The wisdom he provided always stood on it’s own.
    As far as a desire to “discover”, he seemed only to wish to better understand male-female relationships in the aggregate. To that end, he was consistently rational, thoughtful, and even-handed – he steered well clear of hyperbole.
    It’s a shame he took down his blog(s). There was a great wealth of material that remained relevant even years after he wrote it. [I did, over the course of time he was actively blogging, save most all of his posts in my personal archives. He seems to wish to have them removed from the public sphere, so I would not consider reposting them. However, I may well choose to pull out some pertinent and attributed quotes from his work to add to future discussions.]

  47. Why did he decide to shutter his blogs?

  48. Butterfly Flower

    He also said he doesn’t care about the future of Western society because it’s in terminal decline

    A few weeks ago on Dalrock’s blog, Brendan commented that he wishes for the world to end. Everyone else ignored the comment, but I personally found said statement quite odd.

    Maybe he left the manosphere for the Christian conspiracy theorist blogosphere [yes, such a thing exists...] He sounds like a typical “Rapture Ready” forum poster.

  49. CSPB

    BF, you have a profound misunderstanding.

  50. Tim

    Butterfly Flower,

    You’re a teenager, yes?

  51. Blues

    @slwerner: Is there any chance that you could privately share those saved files? i’m interested in reading some of Brendan’s insights.

  52. Butterfly Flower

    I’m not certain of his choice of the word nova, but long before the discovery of Supernova’s, the word simply meant “new star” (latin).

    As an individual fluent in Latin, I will correct your statement.

    Nova means “new things”. It is the plural form of the Latin noun novum.

    Hm, “seeker of new things” ….it’s a clever handle, but not particularly metaphorical.

    Butterfly Flower, you’re a teenager, yes?

    Affirmative.

    But what does my age have to do with this discussion?

  53. Lovekraft

    Butterfly Flower: “But what does my age have to do with this discussion?”

    In the manosphere, this response pretty much sums up why we are MRAs in the first place. Yes, your reply should be something like this:

    “well, despite my young age, I feel I am able to comment on senior matters because my academic/research background, combined with many relevant life experiences (that have helped make me a well-rounded individual) have given me a perspective relevant to this discussion”.

    Anything less sounds like typical Western middle-class entitlement princess “ME, ME, ME”. Sorry for being blunt, but if you think having a computer means you should be heard, prepare to be eaten alive, so to speak.

  54. Lovekraft

    Welmer Price over at The Spearhead and Paul Elam at AVoiceforMen are pioneers in facing the feminist/progressive socialist beast head on, without codenames or alter personas. True pioneers. Worthy of everyone’s support and admiration.

    I should also mention Dr Palmatier at AShrink4Men for showing similar bravery.

    I remember about 5 months ago the immediate dissolution of MGTOW/Proboards.com, not because of any illegal activity, for the moderator didn’t indicate such. Nope. It was because the PC crowd pulled some strings and realized the truths that were coming out of it. That, or the fact that their feelings got hurt.

  55. Butterfly Flower

    In the manosphere, this response pretty much sums up why we are MRAs in the first place. Yes, your reply should be something like this:

    “well, despite my young age, I feel I am able to comment on senior matters because my academic/research background, combined with many relevant life experiences (that have helped make me a well-rounded individual) have given me a perspective relevant to this discussion”.

    Did read my comments, by any chance? [or did you automatically disregard my words because I'm a girl?]

    On this page alone, I displayed familiarity with astrophysics and Latin proficiency.

    *sigh* if only an MRA like yourself had the strength to look past personal prejudice.

    Perhaps you’d find a well rounded, chaste young woman with the keys to the kingdom hanging off her neck.

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