Monthly Archives: June 2011

Six Big Habits for Health

I don’t normally read the Puffington Host but I found myself linked to this article by Yale physician David Katz, M.D. entitled “Six Habits That Can Add Years to Your Life.”

  • Feet (be active)
  • Fork (eat right)
  • Fingers (don’t smoke; I personally would nominate play the guitar for this one as well)
  • Sleep (get enough and at the right times)
  • Stress (manage it) 
  • Love (happy relationships have health benefits, and he didn’t even mention the benefits of regular orgasm)

Katz claims that an active, properly-fed non-smoker reduces the risk of chronic diseases by 80%.

One item I’d add to this list in terms of wellness is working on something you’re passionate about. Maybe it’s your job; maybe it’s a weekend hobby; maybe you love cooking; maybe an hour of playing an instrument really lights your fire for the next day. Something more than paying the freight at work then coming home to deal with domestic duties (spouse, house, kids).

Here’s my advice to anybody looking for a good mid-year resolution, and let’s face it, you don’t need a holiday for permission to self-improve. Pick one of these items and make a serious improvement. Pick a bedtime and stick to it. Or give up your most damaging food habit (sugared-up coffee drinks, sodas, candy or potatoes?) Join a rec sports league or sign up for a 5K to make exercise part of your schedule. Or set aside time each day for that thing you really want to do long-term.

Toss off love for a second because that can’t be unilaterally forced, unless you are already in a relationship in which case dedicating yourself to improving that relationship is a good goal. I can think of a good set of tips on that one.

If you’re a guy, feeling and being healthier is going to enhance your game bigtime, and if you’re a woman, you’ll be more attractive to guys and more fit for LTR investment. And you’ll just feel better about yourself, a reward in its own right.

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Filed under living a good life

Lessons of the Stooges

I came across “scottmac56″ in the comments section of The Private Man‘s blog, and followed his blog to a hilarious entry called “All I really need to know I learned from The Three Stooges.”

  • Friends stick together. Even if they’re a bunch of knuckleheads.
  • Even the biggest bully will back off when confronted by a solid show of coordinated, single-minded bullheadedness.
  • Life will put you in situations you never expected to be in. The only way through it is through it. You may need to be a plumber or a paperhanger or a pie chef.  Fake it till you make it. You can do it. If you can fake it, you can do it.
  • No matter what more enlightened people may have you believe, sometimes the best possible option is a pure, dumb, flat-out show of force. Accompanied by “Grrrrrrr- – Woof! Woof! Woof!”
  • People who put on airs sometimes have a pie in the face coming. Literally is the most fun, but figuratively works too.
  • Don’t lose track of your siblings. They will be your best friends. (Moe and Shemp and Curly were brothers in real life.)
  • When someone asks you, “How many fingers?” always put up The Block.
  • Occasionally you will have to work alongside new people whom you are not used to. Treat them well, teach them what you can, and appreciate what they bring to the team.
  • Sometimes the only thing that will get you moving in life is for someone to stick a beehive down your pants.
  • Always make the biggest person take the bottom bunk.
  • In every group there is always a take-charge guy, an alpha. Slap him back at your own risk.
  • And some people just have a slap coming to them. You can’t protect them.
  • Always try to keep your dignity. Even if you fail, at least you tried.
  • You can tell a kind woman from a mean one by whether she laughs or sneers at your antics.
  • To stop someone in their tracks when they try to take advantage, first call them out. “Oh –  wise guy, huh?!”
  • Never, ever play “Pop Goes The Weasel” at a boxing match.
  • The first time you fall in love you will definitely wander around saying, “Woo-woo-woo-woo-woo!”
  • Sometimes the boss will give you a hit, even if you didn’t do anything. That’s in case you do, and he’s not around.
  • If you can’t see what’s around you, maybe it’s because you’ve got your eyes closed.
  • You may not want to do something until you’re good and ready. But sometimes you have to get ready before you’re ready.
  • When offered an opportunity in life, be willing to say “Soitenly!”
  • If you can’t dance, do the shuffle!

(Programming note: I was going to be ironic by posting a picture of the band The Stooges, but I couldn’t find a photo of Iggy Pop with his shirt on, and this is just not that kind of blog.)

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Filed under this is just funny

Just Go After Whoever You’re Interested in

Like most recovering betas, through focused introspection I have discerned some patterns from my old days that consistently sabotaged my social life and kept me from pursuing women I was interested in. Among them were:

  • Thinking “she’s so hot/cool/high-value, why would she be interested in me? What do I have to offer her?”
  • Thinking “I should just punch within my league, because they’ll be easier to attract and keep.”

These imaginary barriers prevented and demotivated me from opening and pursuing probably dozens of potential mates. I seriously doubt I am alone in this. I have found both these assumptions to be seriously flawed, at least partly due to the following factors:

1. Entitlement and pouty attitude are more or less uniformly distributed across the SMV spectrum. Sure we expect hot women to act like princesses (why again do we tolerate it from anybody?), but you’ll find them anywhere on the ladder. In particular, I’ve found that women who were not hot or “popular” in high school often carry that chip on their shoulder for a long time, even though they grow in attractiveness in their 20’s or had a style that didn’t fit into the rigid high school social paradigm. This goes double for “smart” girls who are averse to flirting because they think it makes them bimbos, in the same way that confirmed betas don’t want to act dominant because they think it makes them douchebags. There is a (controversial) line of thought in manosphere circles that plainer women have built up their psychological health without the crutch of male attention, and thus can be tougher to attract despite being objectively lower in “league.” And most women today have been raised to think they are awesome, full stop.

Let me be clear: my point is not that all women are pouty and entitled; it’s that no matter her SMV, a woman is not automatically going to be pleasant and grateful for your interest, even though sexual marketing game theory dictates that she should work her personality to compensate for looks. Cutting yourself off from a certain segment of the field is not going to make the protection shields, fitness tests and curled noses go away. And on the other hand, plenty of high-value women think they are low-value and thus respond to your value better than you might expect.

2. The concept of one’s “league” is a non-sequitur when it comes to attraction. People are attracted to what they are attracted to. There’s no programming inside our brains that makes us most attracted to people in our sphere of attractiveness. Obviously our genes want us to get the best deal possible, and also allow for some variety for genetic diversity’s sake. Hypergamy is a good working rule to first order, but there are plenty of educated women who have a thing for rough blue-collar guys, women who are comfortable dating outside their race, and other crossups of assortive mating. In other words, you should never believe you don’t have a chance with someone because of her age, class or social environs. Even if they are exceptions to the rule, the sample size of a young man living in or near a large first-world city is so large that you will run into these exceptions on a fairly regular basis.

Now when it comes to a relationship, an equally-yoked pairing is likely to be the most stable and mutually satisfying arrangement (Roissy recommends a twist on this, where the man is higher in social status and the woman is higher in looks status, so that neither can realistically count on getting a better deal from a third party.)

3. Lots of hot women don’t get approached as much as you’d think. If you talk to attractive women, they’ll tell you they get a lot more ogling than true approaching – where I define an approach as looking her in eye and talking to her without drooling or stuttering. A lot of really good-looking women will feign the princess act as a fitness test, but really can’t stand being pedestalized and supplicated. They want a dude to approach them who won’t do those things. Be that guy!  You don’t have to be a super-alpha to do this with an attractive woman.

4. Everybody needs to be gamed. I don’t mean you should aim to seduce every woman you meet. It’s a sure sign of lame game if a guy only runs it on the women he’s interested in, and doubly lame if a guy has no discrimination in his pursuits. What I mean is if you approach a pair or a group of women, you’re going to have to be socially dynamic with all of them, and with male friends too if they have them (in a nonsexual way of course). And many times, the “target” begs off but another woman responds to your game in a happy twist of events. Or a third party outside the set sees your skills in action and it trips her preselection sensor.

5. Sometimes you just get lucky. You really don’t know what a woman wants and whether you’re it until you approach. For whatever hindbrain reasons nobody understands, you might be just what she’s looking for.

There is a key male-female difference here female readers need to be especially aware of.

When a girl goes after a guy out of her league, he might pump her and dump her, with the concomitant emotional and social (and possibly medical) damage that results. I don’t have a detailed solution to this problem except to say that sexual and relationship escalation need to proceed in lockstep counterpoint, you can’t give one entirely and then expect the other to be provided.

When a guy goes after a woman who is out of his league, the worst he’ll get is no, or she might string him along as beta provider if he doesn’t have enough game to discern what’s going on. And a man of good game knows not to activate a woman’s isolation anxiety* by asking her out for a formal date where she’s stuck with him for hours, giving her things, or frequent communication. These steps avoid social consequences like getting tagged as a creep or “hitting on” her**.

So get out there and start approaching, and don’t worry about picking optimal targets; just approach whoever strikes your fancy and go from there.

*Credit to Athol Kay for this term, which he analogized to male approach anxiety. [edited from original to reflect proper nomenclature.]

**Aside: it’s interesting how the verb “to hit on” has a connotation of unwanted intrusion; in reality it means “an unattractive or low-game man approached me.” If the guy is attractive and she wanted to talk to him, she won’t say she’s been hit on. It’s all part of the female subtextual language men need to understand.

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Filed under beta guide, dating and field game

A Conundrum

If you look around the Internet you’ll see considerable discussion of NSA sex – “no strings attached.”

My question is…

…can you still do NSA if one of you ties the other up?

 

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How Culture Sells Material Romance

Here’s a banner ad I saw on OkCupid. First of all, not sure why the salesmasters of OkC are showing a single man ads for women’s clothing. (Maybe I checked the transformer box by accident?)

And I don’t want this to turn into Internet Male Syndrome, but I find this model only marginally attractive. She’s in shape for sure, but her pose creates fake angles (knee and hip stuck out) and she doesn’t have much of a waist. Her face is hard and inexpressive. I’m sure all the girls think she’s smoking hot, but that just shows the differences in how women judge other women’s status, and how different it is than what actually gets men to look.

But let’s not forget the caption, “Don’t be afraid of love.” WTF? How is shopping for clothes showing you’re not “afraid of love?” Is buying a burnt-orange top going to make a man fall in love with you? As if a woman’s problem is simply that she’s not dressing right (and if you give Talbot’s money, they will fix it for you). Sounds like a knockoff of the Kay Jewelers campaign, which tells men “show her how priceless your love is…by spending $2,000 on it.” Or maybe they are saying women will fall in love with the store; forget wanting a man, you should love your wardrobe instead.

Five little words, socially proofed by one not-unattractive woman. Repeat thousands of times before age 25. It’s no wonder guys complain about so many entitled princesses, and why so many women are confused about why they don’t have men trying to get into relationships with them – advertisers constantly blare to women that the measure of their lives, and specifically the measure of their love lives, is material in nature. Men will love them if they are more materially “awesome,” and men should buy them stuff to earn their love. They both play the strategy and it predictably fails. Sh** doesn’t make you happy, and giving or getting it certainly doesn’t indicate love.

Unplug from the matrix.

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Filed under media

What Modern Men Need To Hear

Detective Axel Foley lures two Beverly Hills stiffs to a nightlife establishment, and gives them a lesson in red-pill philosophy (0:34).

“You don’t have to be embarrassed if it gets hard. It’s supposed to get hard, that’s the whole object of this!” (A forward, virile masculinity isn’t something to be ashamed of.)

“Taggart is hard but he won’t let you know ’cause he’s the boss. Boss gotta stay limp, right?” (Men of magnanimous authority project a sexuality that is superficially suppressed, hidden from public view but still brewing beneath the surface for anyone who seeks to access it. In fact that very act of restraint itself belies extra masculine power, the ability to harness one’s libidinous drive for his own purposes rather than having it run his life.)

“I ain’t on duty, so I can be hard.” (Axel remind us that his game is on. Ironically, the “off-duty” detective foils a crime moments later, showing that he has blended his two sides and doesn’t live under the mutually-exclusive “Taggart duality.”)

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Filed under beta guide

The People Want Badger for President

From a comment over at Dr. Helen:

If a badger and a marmot were running as GOP POTUS & VP in 2012, I’d vote for them over the blind-ass bow-toy we’ve got today.

Great, now I just need a sciurine running mate…oh, and to achieve the Constitutionally-mandated minimum age. Check back in a while.

The actual post concerns a quote from USNews: “One fifth of all men of prime working age are not getting up and going to work.” Helen wondered out loud if some of those men are simply working off the books in response to irritating taxes (labor side) and increasing regulatory costs (employer side).  The comments are pretty interesting, with issues ranging from which industries are most amenable to under-the-table payment or to piggybacking on a full-time job (one reader is a college professor who moonlights as a tip-heavy bartender).

After some time in the manosphere, it’s not hard to detect the misandrist shaming language in the phrasing “getting up and going to work.” The implication being that men are shirking from jobs they already have, or that work is out there and guys aren’t (say it with me) “manning up.” As if it’s easy to do when you’ve got migrant labor on one side of you and increasing (and pointless) credentialization on the other.

Keoni Galt posted recently on supplementing his shrinking white-collar income by the sweat of his brow:

But thanks to the Return of the Great Depression, I’ve found myself picking up side jobs in the blue collar work world once again to supplement my dramatically reduced income, in order to provide for my family.

Since I’ve only been doing it a couple of days a week now, I find it quite enjoyable actually. Getting back into hard physical work has made me appreciate escaping the daily grind when it was my sole means of income…but doing it once or twice a week? I find it’s almost a real pleasure.

There is something profoundly satisfying to work with a crew of men you know very well…so well, that you all work with a minimal of direction. Every man knows the job, what it takes to get done, and the job comes together beautifully in the end…

I’ve worked for two men in the past year…both I’m very good friends with, and who are in fact my hunting partners. They both own their own businesses and they work very hard to support their families. They are always willing to have my extra hand thrown in for a day or two of work for some cash on the side.

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