Six Reasons A Lot Of Young Women Are Single

Yahoo!’s celebrity-interest blog posted a video-article combo entitled “Why do men hate these popular trends women love?” hosted by a less-endowed simulacrum of Katy Perry. The question of “why” is not well discussed, but one commenter summed it up hilariously with “cuz they are straight?”

1. Ugg boots

The on-set footwear of choice for celebrities (how many times have we seen photos of the “Gossip Girl” crew in gowns and Uggs?) is admittedly hard on the eyes. But in the right situation and when worn with jeans (NOT jean shorts), they’re worth it. If more guys tried on a pair, they’d understand. It’s the shoe equivalent of comfort food.

Nobody goes out for comfort food, and you don’t see me wearing my fuzzy bearclaw slippers down to the neighborhood coffee shop.

When did dressing like a slob become a positive statement? Have we devolved from blue-collar-look hipsterism all the way down to dumpy chic? Two things guys don’t want in a girlfriend: slovenly dress habits (does he want to take that home to Mom?) and trend-following. By saying something like this is trendy, you are really giving yourself two strikes at the same time.

2. Oversized sunglasses

Guys think they make us look like bugs. I think they add glamour and drama. But, I’ll concede one point: It’s important to find a size and shape that actually fits your face.

I admit I don’t have any problem with big shades, just with the spoiled raconteurette culture they symbolize. I don’t think I’ve met a woman in big sunglasses who didn’t have an attitude to match.

3.  Jumpsuits

Even stylish and svelte women like Blake Lively and Kourtney Kardashian can barely pull them off. I understand the retro appeal, but they’re awfully hard to look good in. Guys win this one.

The “jumpsuit” or romper of which they speak of is really a moo moo with a crotch. If you’re getting ready to bust some ghosts or fire up the DeLorean to go back to 1955, a jumpsuit is obligatory; why women want to wear them with most of the leg cut off I can’t fathom.  It looks like you couldn’t be bothered to dress yourself properly, or a homemade-clothing experiment that ran out of material.

4. Red lipstick

This one was a surprise. Apparently, some guys find the un-kissability factor a turnoff. I think there’s nothing sexier than red lips, gold eyeshadow and extra long lashes.

I like red lips. I am flummoxed by this “un-kissability factor.” If I want to kiss a woman I do it, I don’t seek permission from her makeup artist. All the better if she gets some on my face and shirt – then I can pull out the old “I have it take it off and wash it, why don’t you wait with me in my apartment while my shirt dries?” Skin tone makes a big difference though, paler women with bright red lipstick look like cartoons.

5. Harem pants

Celebrities like Julianne Moore and Jessica Alba have tried their best to make them look halfway decent, but there’s no way anyone can honestly say there isn’t a more flattering option then a pair of pants that look like they come with a built-in diaper. Guys win this one, too.

Does anything need to be said about pants that, like prostiboots and fu%$-me pumps, literally say “I’m a slut” in the name of the article of clothing?

6. Socks with sandals

Respected indie fashionistas like Chloe Sevigny and Alexa Chung valiantly tested the trend but I say the sexiness of a strappy sandal is undercut by a wooly underlayer.

I must plead ignorance on this one. I’ve never heard of these “fashionistas,” and I’ve never run into this trend. Maybe I have a natural hipster-avoidance gene.

STRAIGHT TALK FROM A REGULAR DUDE

Here’s a newsflash for women from me, on behalf of men in general: we don’t give a shit about fashion. We don’t care what celebrities are wearing on the red carpet. (We do care about what’s under the dresses.) Heavy makeup does not make a woman prettier, although light makeup is tasteful. Fashionable clothing does not make a woman any hotter; Kate Middleton is pretty no matter what she’s wearing, though I understand that to women around the world she would just be Katie from the block if she didn’t have William’s nuclear preselection. (Speaking of which, I’ll never understand why Cammila Bowles wore a dead bird in her hair in her wedding to Prince Charles.)

When we have to go somewhere we don’t care if it’s the pink top or the blue top. Maybe your ass does look fat in those pants, but we’ll give your groin a tactile examination just to make sure.

SELLING YOURSELF THE WRONG WAY TO THE WRONG PEOPLE

Here’s the key long-term point: fashion obsession, flipping through vapid magazines, judging yourself against the standards of unimaginably wealthy people you’ll never meet, tittering from store to store stuffing bags full of overpriced labels spending money you probably don’t have is unbecoming of a woman we would want to take for a wife.

The most important thing you need to understand is that what YOU think looks good on a woman is probably not what we think. This topic underlies a major cultural divide – what women find “attractive” in other women, and what men actually find attractive in women. Even my pal Susan Walsh has said more than once that she is a terrible judge of which women men find attractive. (Then again, you don’t have to take my word for it…I’m helpless in the face of a woman in a pantsuit.)

This divide has a critical application – if you’re more concerned with looking good for your girlfriends than your husband, you need to think about upping your commitment to the marriage. (Lest you think I’m some kind of a chauvinist, I would say the same to husbands – your overall look and style has to serve the interests of your wife and family before that of your bros.)

Long hair and staying in reasonable shape are by far the most effective “fashion” tools you can deploy for your LTR/marriage. Short of any fetishes your husband might have; if he digs you eating breakfast wearing a shower curtain then by all means think it over.

FREEDOM AIN’T FREE

It’s not that I’m telling anybody what to do. I’m all for freedom – but the definition of freedom includes consequences (in fact that’s part of the thrill of freedom) and young women need to be aware of the messages they are sending as they seek mates. If Uggs and a hoody or low-rise jeans and a bedazzled tank top are your look, I think it’s a fair deal: how about I don’t complain about your wardrobe, and you don’t complain that you can’t find a man who’s not a player or a layabout – the harvests of slutwear and dressing down, respectively.

Comments on the Yahoo! article were mixed but with a healthy component of skeptical women denouncing said fashion trends. The pro-trendy comments were along the lines of this one:

Women wear trends for themselves, not men. So men need to get over it!!

There’s something contradictory about conforming to a trend “for yourself,” but in any case, men don’t need to get over it. Your average man has innumerable ways to fill his time – work, family, hobbies, friends, other women, porn. He’s got plenty of options besides a materialistic woman whose self-worth is wrapped up in wearing what a marketing department told her to.

Further reading: grerp’s Piece of Advice #10: Toss your women’s magazines

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24 Comments

Filed under girl guide, junk culture

24 responses to “Six Reasons A Lot Of Young Women Are Single

  1. *standing ovation*

    One more way that otherwise attractive women can make themselves look really ugly:

    http://www.theunambitiousmale.com/2011/03/give-it-up-pocohontas-thats-not-your.html

  2. Cookie

    Agree with all items on this list; ugly, unflattering fashions for all. I would love to see the return of clean, elegant, “ladylike” dressing; not so tight, short, or lowcut. No more hooker fashion…high time to 86 that look.

    Now, please do one for the guys. Why do so many men dress like overgrown toddlers? Baggy, pulled down pants with undies hanging out, huge tee-shirts, enormous cartoon sized athletic shoes; Ed Hardy, ball caps worn indoors and everywhere, and…Ed Hardy.

  3. Something I’ve noticed of late, here on the beach: aviator glasses, the kind worn by Maverick or your local highway patrolman–and Eric Carman–are everywhere. Women/girls seem to think they look cool. When they just look 70s-retro Magnum PI retarded.

  4. SayWhaat

    But I love red lipstick! ;__; Not every guy likes it though, my best friend says it makes girls look like clowns. It’s probably one of those things that narrows your dating pool, like smoking (some people don’t mind, for others it’s a total turn-off). I think having the right shade for your skin tone makes all the difference, though. /girltalk

    “Women wear trends for themselves, not men. So men need to get over it!!”

    Reminds me of a Tina Fey quote from Vogue:

    “I think women dress for other women to let them know what their deal is. Because if women were only dressing for men, there would be nothing but Victoria’s Secret. There would be no Dior.”

  5. collegeslacker

    Great article, Badger. You nailed it. This should be forwarded to every girl in this nation.

    Side Note: I think the reason girls love the giant bug eye sun-g’s is because they hide half of their face. I can’t count how many times I’ve thought a girl could be really good looking until she took off those things and revealed the rest of her face.

  6. @Cookie: Hip Hop is entirely responsible for that.

    @SayWhaat: As you’re a single lady in NYC, why not try one-week with no lipstick at all? See if you get more male attention.

  7. SayWhaat

    @ Workshy Joe:

    LOL I actually don’t wear lipstick at all. But I admire the girls who do. : )

  8. @SayWhaat: Ohhhh…I see. You were aping the girls who like red lippy. Gotcha.

  9. SayWhaat

    @ Workshy Joe: Hey, if a girl can rock it, props to her. Besides, I don’t exactly struggle when it comes to attracting men. ; )

  10. @Saywhaat: Just the wrong kind of man?

  11. @Saywhaat: Its OK. Having high standards is cool. I’ll shut up now. LOL.

  12. VI

    Being the whimsical gender, I expect a girl to follow trends, but I judge her if she follows the stupid ones. Trendy without stylish is just trashy. For men, just like you have to put up with a bit of crazy if you want femininity, you have to put up with some trend following. Just don’t compromise your standards.

    Girls, I dig fashion. I wear custom suits, have an epic tie collection, and probably own as many shoes as you do. I even appreciate and keep up with women’s fashion. For every 100 men like me, 99 of them are gay. I am the exception to the rule. Unless your man is obviously into fashion, STFU about it.

  13. At the end of the day, it seems that women will listen to what everyone else says makes them look attractive other than men themselves. Sadly, they then wonder why men don’t find them attractive. It would be humorous if it wasn’t so ubiquitous.

  14. Stephenie Rowling

    This is a whole chapter on how to marry the men of your choice. She makes a huge point about big bracelets too and women wearing watches. I think the main message was that men always imagine having sex with women and anything on the way turns their imaginations off so the simplest the best.
    I must say that I never knew about the lipstick aversion till I meet my husband from who I have to search in every store on the city for a kissproof red lipstick for our wedding (my colors were red and white and I do look good with red lipstick) if I ever hoped for him to kiss me for the pics, he hates eating up the damn thing. Maybe they should make them flavored for men to warm up to it. lol

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  16. I think that in general, if a woman is attractive enough, her fashion sense doesn’t matter. Fashion is just a status marker, and since a woman’s status doesn’t really matter all that much to men, then women wearing tent dresses should get just as much action as those wearing couture, all other things being equal.

  17. “I think that in general, if a woman is attractive enough, her fashion sense doesn’t matter.”

    There’s several phenomena at work…a woman with high SMV defines fashion via her own social proof. And a lot of guys don’t care if a woman skimps (see what I did there) on a proper wardrobe if she’s got natural attractiveness rolling out of bed.

    However, non-famous attractive women (3′s on the Badger scale) tend to massively overrate their attractiveness in my experience, so even though they have a pretty good hand in the SMP, they think they can get away with low-effort or offbeat clothing. VERY few women are naturally pretty enough to get away with it, so we read about how men won’t approach them because they are intimidated by women with an original sense of “fashion” and other hamsterisms.

    “Fashion is just a status marker, and since a woman’s status doesn’t really matter all that much to men,”

    This needs to be amended: men don’t care about women’s status _among other women_. A woman’s sexual marketplace status matters A LOT to men. We care about whether you give us a boner and are pleasant to be around. We couldn’t care less about your intrasexual squabbles about who’s wearing Louis V. Men and women can both have their toys, but beyond a certain point it’s a positive sign of stupidity to be frivolous.

    Consider again the quote in the post: “Women wear trends for themselves, not men. So men need to get over it!!” If a woman isn’t going to make her man a priority over status with her friends, what right does she have to ask him to do so for her?

    “then women wearing tent dresses should get just as much action as those wearing couture, all other things being equal.”

    This would have to be evaluated in a study. I’m happy to volunteer to help the women change their costumes.

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  20. Sweet As

    I know this is way-old now, but I’ve just “discovered” your blog (via athol and dalrock) and *i love it*.

    I totally had a situation with girls in a shop *yesterday* about this. I was going to buy some more work clothing (I teach yoga, so I need dance wear, but actual dance wear costs a fortune so I buy the less expensive stuff and then take *super good* care of it).

    These young girls — 18-22s — were in the shop.

    Now, I have *a lot* of criticism about NZ fashion, largely because most of it looks like f**ing sacks. Drapey, matronly, dark colored *sacks*. A very skinny girl (like myself) can pull off a sack, but Honestly? NO. it’s just fugly and you look stupid (and fat).

    So, these girls are trying on these drapey clothes and bemoaning the “it’s so hard to find a man.” now, I walk down the street dressed as follows: leggings (yoga pants– tight), tank top (tight, like a dancer’s top), wrap dress or wrap skirt (above knee length, fitted), denim jacket (fitted), jewelry, long hair, modest make up, *excellent posture* and ok — vibram five fingers (but they do turn the hubs on. he’s thinks they are HAWT and insisted that i wear them, and I wanted to, though i used to wear ballet flats if i had a long walk to work OR heels if less walking was involved). I walk down the street and get hit on, asked out, and lots of looks from all kinds of men — men from ages 20 to 55, those with money and those without. For serious, I’m married and don’t need a man, but I seem to have figured out (unconsciously) what they like.

    So, these girls were moaning, and trying on dresses and “do you think this will attract a guy in the club?” and it was a slouchy dress that a 98 yr old italian widow wouldn’t wear (And they choose very conservative clothing). It looked terrible. It aged the young woman by about 10 years, and didn’t show off her figure.

    Women here are, by in large, bigger than women in the US. BUT, there are fewer women who are truly obese, as in the US. So, the average size here is that size 12/14 (us sizing estimate), but they actually manage to maintain an hourglass AND men seem interested in the flesh, so it’s not a bad thing. These girls would definitely be ‘fat’ in Philadelphia, but here, they’re normal. So, ok.

    I finally speak up: “girls, i hate to put this out there boldly, but men care about tits and ass. You have tits and ass, so dress to show him that you have tits and ass.”

    They gave me a very shocked look. “We’re not sluts.” And i said “neither am I, but look at how i’m dressed. Here are my tits. Here is my ass. I’m covered from neck to ankles, from shoulder to wrist. The only skin is neck, face, hands, and tops of my feet (vibrams). You don’t have to dress slutty to show off your shape.”

    What then ensued was a lesson for 10 girls (and 2 shop girls) about how to dress for your shape, how to find clothes that accentuate your positives, and that — for GODS SAKE — don’t make you look like a dowdy matron in a f**Ing sack.

    What is wrong with people? Then, I helped them with make up (which is ironic, because i largely hate the stuff), hair (long hair styling), and *comportment* and manners. It’s amazing how far good posture and being polite can go. Even with your “average bloke.”

    So, I think i’m going to start teaching classes in this, because *my goodness* people be needing some help around here. I also recommended my yoga classes, of course, which makes you strong and supple, and helps with posture. Now, i just have to teach women how to walk so they don’t look like they are clomping around their garden in wellies while wearing heels that are too small (or super ugly. i have no idea what it is about ugly shoes in this town).

    Yeah, so, I hear you, brother. I hear you.

  21. Sweet As,

    Good for you. It’s clear women generally don’t want to take advice from men, so advice from a woman with tasteful fashion sense and knowledge of how men really work is the next best thing.

  22. detinennui32

    Add to this:

    Flip-flops. These are appropriate for the pool, the beach or the shower at the gym. They are NOT appropriate attire for anything else.

  23. Jennifer

    Thanks for the tips, Badger! It’s ncie to have male feedback; guys don’t make a lot of demands on clothes, after all, so when they do speak up it’s good to listen.

  24. I don’t know what kind of girls/women you’ve been around, but I for one dress for me, not for men. If a guy can’t accept the clothes I like, screw him. Guys don’t dress to impress girls. And if they do, that’s just sad. If she can’t accept the clothes you wear, screw her too. Unless it’s something completely unacceptable (like wearing underwear on the outside of your clothes) then forget what everyone else thinks.
    And why does everyone hate Ugg boots? I don’t own any, but the way they look doesn’t bother me. I don’t get it.

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