The Five Stages of Game

(Hat tip to Roissy and to the obvious)

1. Denial – “These game guys are a bunch of clowns, there’s no way this works on women.”

2. Anger – “This is ridiculous! Why should I have to jump through all these hoops for women? I just want to be myself. Why couldn’t I have been a natural alpha? Can I blame my parents/siblings/teachers/God?”

3. Bargaining – “Well maybe it does have some good points…forget the hot girls, I’ll give it a try if it can help me get around the bases with a plain Jane. Do I have to wear the fuzzy hat?”

4. Depression – “Wow, women really respond to this puffed-up act? And guys spend big bucks on it and wind up with more tail than a toilet seat? And I just joined up for this? The world is sad and so am I…”

5. Acceptance – “Maybe this IS the way things really work. I guess I should give up the gender relations mythology I’ve been holding onto…hey, what do you think of these negs I came up with?”

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8 Comments

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8 responses to “The Five Stages of Game

  1. Haha, perfect! Interestingly, the five stages closely describe my own acceptance of Game as something that benefits women.

  2. knepper

    Good grief! No, really. Very nicely done.

    ["Good grief"? Haha, I see what you did there.]

  3. (r)Evolutionary

    Really & truly, you’ve described the process of the *acceptance* of game here, and not the process of learning game itself. For acceptance of game is merely the knock on the rusty, massive door, and it’s creaky opening. It takes a lot of guts, determination, independent thought, a hint of nihilism, a dose of self-interest, and a shot of mojo, to walk through the door and begin the arduous journey to penetrate (snicker) into the depths of game. Truly, exploring game is an exploration of what it means to be a Man in this culture, and also an exploration of women, and of our ultimate biological nature.

    The true journey of game (I really wish we had another term for it. I kind of like “applied sexual warriorship”.) is a test of trials & tribulations that begins in the fog of unconscious incompetence (at least for betas), and eventually arrives at conscious competence, and finally, when game theory becomes fully ingrained and internalized, it’s Automatic.

  4. (r)Ev,
    That’s a powerful description of the process, especially the initial walk through the door. It’s the first time I’ve felt a glimmer of understanding of what that must be like for men.

  5. Apologies Badger, for my guest post at Mala Fide.

    I wish I’d read this post first. You had the idea a week before me!

    I’ll add you to my blogroll bro.

    [You don't have to apologize for great minds thinking alike. The more men who can get to Stage 5 (I don't meant the clinger type) the better.]

  6. Jennifer

    Playful negs are fine, but putting down a woman in general in hopes that she’ll be attracted to this is pathetic. Plus, learning the basic traits of attractive masculinity (which is what game is about) is different from thinking you need to adhere to outlined rules and steps for the rest of your life as a cure-all for LTR troubles and marriage.

  7. Mike from Toronto

    @Jennifer

    10 years ago I was a worthless Omega. I’m up to beta now, but in the end it was my beta that cost me my marriage. Suffice it to say, i only started to look into game after me and my wife separated.

    When i was the lowest of the low those many years ago, i was talking to one girl who i was really attracted to but didn’t make a play for because she was seeing someone else. (She had also friend zoned me years earlier)

    I one time playfully suggested that she (and many other women) could make a lot of money becoming a dating coach letting beta shmucks and worse date them, not with relationships in mind, but learning, taking constructive criticism and building confidence and swagger. Since most guys have NO CLUE as to what women really want, and being fed a steady diet of beta shmuck wins in the end hollywood, how else are they supposed to learn?

    I thought i was doing the right thing by deferring all the decision making to my wife because it would show i valued her opinion and keep arguing to a minimum. The 3 times i did put my foot down (no cable tv, return of items to ikea we couldn’t afford, and not eating at restaurants to save) turned into heated fights that burnt me anyways so it was lose lose.

    The paradox i face (and my friends remind me of) is that had i learned ‘game’ prior to my marriage, i’d likely still be in my marriage. Having said that, most of my friends say i’m lucky i got out when i did and that she was too high maintenance and that id be miserable having to always play as someone i am naturally not. It really seems like too much work?

    I grew up believing ‘love conquers all’. That’s not true now is it? Love is conditional and can be revoked once i’ve become too bland.

    I’m going to watch Blue Valentine tonight, i hear i have a lot in common with that movie. I can’t bring myself to watch Eat Pray Love. But i feel i have a lot in common with that one too :(

    [Mike, thanks for commenting. Sorry to hear about your marriage but it sounds like you're in a better situation now. I'm getting a lot of high-quality Canadian readers lately.]

  8. Pingback: The 5 Stages of Unplugging «

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